Elusive Dreaming

Fingers Crossed-Mickey Milkovich

Fingers Crossed- Mickey Milkovich
Song: Eyes Closed- Halsey
Warning: Death, Swearing, Drug Usage, Underage Drinking, Drinking, Illness.

Usually crossing your fingers means hopefully you will be blessed with something joyful. However here you were waiting on the world for a guy who had no clue.

If you kept your eyes closed for long enough you could pretend it was him. Even for a split second you could keep your hands over your eyes and not ruin the surprise.

You would’ve given him everything, trading everything for him. Yet, again time after time you waited for him to come around. When you were finally ready to move on he wasn’t. You fell for someone new and he wants to be told how to move on.

“He will never stay with you they never do.” Mickey told you as you both took turns taking hits on the front porch of your house.

“You’re one to talk.” You retort by picturing the way you felt with your eyes closed. Although, it wasn’t just a cigarette or a blunt this time that you shared. You were both vulnerable.

Mickey had just been broken up with a few days prior by his boyfriend Ian Gallahger. As for you, you were just sexually and mentally frustrated with yourself for the amount of hookups.

The someone new wasn’t actually new they were just a random fuck buddy. “Shut the fuck up.” Mickey said you had started to bicker reminding him of the way he and Ian once did.

“Really, you fucked a Gallagher the worst I have ever done was fuck your sibling.” You admitted this seemed to dig further under his skin. “Really? Fuck you kid.” Mickey defended himself within the span of a few minutes of fighting the sexual tension became too much.

His lips were on yours melting together. “Fucking hell, Milkovich get off me.” You said shoving him off of your body. “I thought you wanted this.” Mickey replied “No. Not anymore.” You said showing signs of remorse as his face softened.

Even if you tattooed it across your forehead Mickey still wouldn’t understand it. Mickey was an obilivious fuck in a world where colors were brighter when you paid attention.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Micky apologized. “What the fuck! Who are you and where is Mickey Milkovich?!” You shouted jokingly “You know what kid my foot and your ass are about to become good friends.” Mickey replied “If I am a kid then that makes you a fucking pedophile Milkovich.” You said partly quitting Peter Griffin.

An incident such as this made you rethink your tragic love story. Some of you hated every last bit of him, sometimes it overruled the much larger part that blinded you from seeing the real him.

Although, your story might not be as black and white with bits of colors bleeding onto the pages like Romeo and Juliet. It was still tragic knowing Mandy was right about how even if you hated each other it wouldn’t stop you from dying for one another. Our story was backwards instead of reading page one you read from the epilogue.

As you now sit crossing your fingers for the results of the only test you ever hoped to fail. Remembering your choices, are the one who made them even if it was blind.

As the doctor entered the room with their clipboard flipping through your medical history book. “

Your test was negative. However, according to the CAT scan you do have a stage four cancerous lump attached to your liver.” The doctor told you as you sat in the hospital room.

Silence filled the room as you processed the news. “Is there any form of treatment?” You asked if your voice became shaky as you took in a sharp breath.