The Shadowed Light

Chapter 56 - Keep It All Down

Warning: Vomiting, unintended self harm. Please read carefully.

Izuku hated how everything in his body and mind right now was jumbled up.
He hated how his legs wouldn't work properly and he couldn't stand up from the cold, marble floor.
He hated how his hands were shaking so much that they were going numb.
But most of all he hated how the colours in his eyes mixed with each other.

How the red blood splotches and the yellow vomit on the bathroom floor merged together before his eyes into a weird shade of orange.

As he looked at all that, he felt another wave coming and bent over the toilet seat once again.

He hated how the sickening feeling in his stomach kept him on his knees, on this stupid, white-tiled floor for the past hour.
Frankly, he hated everything.

Betrayal.

Never could've Izuku imagined that that word would leave such a strong, bittersweet taste on his tongue.
He had experienced it before, but oh god, not this strongly.

Izuku swore under his breath as he felt another wave of nausea hitting him and he was forced to bend over the toilet again.

He wanted this to stop. Everything.
But he knew that wasn't possible. And it was all his fault!
Why did he trust a fucking psychopath to be his best friend and a mentor for his younger brother and pupil?
Why did he allow himself to even talk to such a disgrace?

Oh, right, it was because that time Stain convinced him that Asahi was attacked by criminals and that Stain had saved him.
It was because Izuku believed him so easily and didn't even have a second thought about that maybe this crazy murderer was lying to him.

That night. Of course. He planned it all.
Stain lured him away from the vigilante base by paying some thugs to attack his brother and forced Izuku to trust him.
It was at that time that the heroes infiltrated the base.

It was because of Stain and Izuku's plain, stupid innocence that Shadow, Sky, Fox and all those other people died.
He could've prevented that, but he didn't.
Instead he trusted a crazy man, and supported the killing of the pro hero His Purple Highness and all his friends.

So basically, Izuku realised, he himself killed Shadow, Sky, Fox and everybody else.
It was all his fucking fault.
And that made him feel so sick.

Izuku gritted his teeth. He was beyond stupid. He was beyond a fucking moron.

He couldn't prevent anything that happened at the base because Stain wasted his time in that alleyway.

He's a fabulous actor, truly. Putting on that mask of a friendly hero killer that cares for Izuku and everyone from the bottom of his heart.

Like, just how fucking disgusting does that sound?

And yet, despite all of that, Izuku believed him! For all this time!

Izuku leant against a cupboard that stood next to the toilet and breathed heavily. He felt like he vomited out his gut, and by the looks of all the blood on the floor that might as well be true.
Or maybe it's because of that dagger that's stuck in his rib cage right now, Izuku doesn't know, and honestly, really doesn't care.

All that's on his mind right now, is Stain.
The fucking Red Ribbon.

That had just stabbed him in the chest, like, 2 hours ago.

Izuku had to leave. The bell for the third period of the day will ring any minute now, and Izuku was still stretched out on the school bathroom floor in one of the stalls. He already skipped the first two periods without notifying Aizawa or Hizashi about why, so if he doesn't show up for the third one, they'll definitely send out a search party for him. Or go themselves.