Attraction, desire, and sinfully beautiful, Mika Santana is a devil with the face of an angel. Despite her tragic past, she's never given up her ruthless pursuits for success and vengeance which leaves little to no room for matters of the heart. But...
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It's been eight grueling days.
There's a hole in my chest from watching Asiel suffering from heroin withdrawal. It's heartbreaking to see the most important person in my life in so much pain, and I can't do anything but watch. I cover my face with my hand, inhaling deeply. How did we get to this point?
Two weeks ago, we were celebrating our engagement. Now, I'm watching my boyfriend come apart from the intense craving. A dark wave washes over me, nearly pulling me into oblivion. I take another breath and let it out slowly, pushing the guilt back down my throat.
I should've noticed.
Instead, I've been too focused on saving my own ass to pick up on the subtle hints. The rapid weight loss, his intense eye bags, the nosebleeds, and constantly sniffling. It's so fucking frustrating-- I wanted to scream my heart out. If only I had asked him about the situation, then maybe he wouldn't have found sanctuary in a drug. I'm obviously the problem. All I wanted to do was protect him. But in reality, I'm constantly the reason he's falling apart.
Death. Blood. Demons.
I can't even name one positive thing in his life that stems from me. What does he get from dating me? Nothing but misery. It's gut-wrenching to realize how little I contribute to his life. Asiel is my reason for altering my entire future. He exposed me to emotions like happiness, love, and fear. Things that woke me up from my little dream and fuel me to change my life in a positive direction.
Asiel made my world of darkness illuminated by the beauty and infinite possibilities of happiness.
However, I think the universe has a vendetta against me and will do anything to keep us from getting our happy endings. I don't blame it. What kind of monster deserves a happy ending? Redemption, sure. But a fairy-tale ending? I'm not the beast from fucking beauty in the beast. If anything, I'm Scar, stabbing him in the back without realizing it. It's time to put myself last for a change and prioritize Asiel.
Shutting off the stove, I scoop the thick oatmeal into a small, round dish. Asiel is alternating between the vomiting and tremors stage. He's almost like a dog, shivering in the chilly air after falling into a pool of water. I've been cooking food for Asiel every few hours, hoping he could keep something down.
There have been no victories.
At least, I've him connected to an IV to receive some sort of nutrients. These withdrawals are depleting his system until there's nothing left but a broken shell. It's nearly impossible. I can't speak from experience since I never let the addiction get this far, but I've helped Tania through it. I've done all I can to make the experience as comfortable as possible. He just has to ride the wave until it's over.
I climb up the stairs, trying to keep the volume to a minimum since it's around one in the morning. The hallway is scary dark, with only a bluish light flickering between the cracks of Asiel's bedroom door. Hopefully, he's still sleeping. He hasn't gotten more than five hours of sleep in the past seven days.
