Forty-One Mika

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My entire world, everything I ever knew, feels like it's been flipped on its axis

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My entire world, everything I ever knew, feels like it's been flipped on its axis. If it wasn't for Diablo's aggressive grip on my cheeks, I would've lost any feeling in my limbs and sag to the floor like dead meat. A hint of remorse sneaks up my spine like a dark demonic shadow hovering over my body until it can take possession of me.

Diablo's brown irises burn a brutal hole in my gaze. "I know that look. You do care. You feel guilty. Why do you feel guilty?"

"I-I don't," I assure, my breath catching in my chest.

"Stop lying, Mika. It's written all over your face," Diablo scoffs, digging his tongue into the inside of his cheek. "You prayed for years and years to find him and get him back for what he did to you and Riley. For what the Morterero Familia did to you. Mictlan gave you the opportunity. Guilt is the last thing you should feel for that shitty excuse of a man."

"W-What are you talking about?" I mumble with confusion lace in my voice. "Riley and I weren't involved with the Morterero familia. It was just random thugs on the street."

Diablo explodes into laughter, eerie skin-crawling chuckles, while a gasp leaves my mouth from the impact of his palm. "Are you fucking kidding me now? I witness the aftermath, and the pain they left you, and now it's like nothing to you." He rips the diamond adorn ring from my finger and violently smashes it against the wall, revealing a puddle of white powder dust.

He squats down, digging his fingers into the substances. "What drugs have you been taking? Why are you pumping your body with this shit? I thought you quit the last time I caught you. Mika, forgetting, only suppresses the pain, but it's always there."

My nerves tighten with unease. "I swear, I haven't touched that shit in months. Eugene, you're spewing nonsense. I don't remember anything, and how could you when you weren't even there? You sold us out, remember?"

Diablo sighs, dragging his palm down his clenched face. "How can I ever forget? Very convenient of you to remember my involvement, but not your boyfriend's familia. I can't fucking believe you. How can you pretend nothing happen and act like Riley's pain was justified?"

"I-I'm not justifying what happened to Riley!" I scream, my lower lip trembling. "Nor am I pretending nothing happened, but I don't remember. How am I supposed to believe you after all things you've done to me lately?"

My skull throbs as an impending mirage is forming, and vague, fuzzy memories fight their way through the cobwebs. There's an opaque void in my brain as if the entire night a few years ago hadn't happened. Did I really forget? Did my addiction to every substance known demand alter the reality of the situation? But I remember the events like a flip-note, turning every page, but the faces were obscured by shadows.

Diablo scrambles to his safe, plugging the code, and scrummages through the items kept locked in. His movements are fanatic, shoving pages, money, and gold bars onto the floor until he pulls out a black leather book. With a manic gleam in his irises, he flings the book and smacking me in the chest as it falls to the floor, opening up and pouring out polaroid photos.

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