Mascherata

Shouldn't Have. . .But I Did

Candy
We kiss. I can't stop. It was killing me.

"Jared."

Then I make myself remember how he cut Mia's face, his bipolar mood swings, and how many people he's killed.

He moans into my neck.

My fingers dig into his dar curls. . . and then I just. . .let go. I shouldn't have but I did, and there's no going back now. I don't regret it, but I don't know if I should have done it.

We slept through what was left of the day. Later on in the night I feel his hands race up my hips. His lip leave a trail of kisses up to my neck.

"STOP!" He jerks up and looks at me with huge eyes of concern, like a deer in headlights.

"What's wrong cara mia?"

Although the memories were enough for me to stop, but they didn't stop the feelings I had for him. Whatever those feelings may be.

"I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. You, me ." I shook my head. "No. It has to stop. Right here, right now. I just can't continue on with something that will never be real."

He sits up on the bed. "What are you talking about Candy! This is real! My feelings for you have always been real!"

"And what exactly are those feelings?! That you wanna do me and move on to the next girl like so many times before!!!" I'm on the verge of tears.

"And have you seen me put up with so much for any girl before!?!" He throws his arms in the air waiting for an explanation. "Well, have you?" How was I supposed to know?! We barely knew each other before!

"Candy I want you, I need you! I love you for gosh sakes!" He kisses my hand. "Kitten, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else."

"Jared, you don't love me."

His hands ball up into angry fist. He gets up harshly and puts his clothes back on.

"Get in the car. Were leaving."

Theres no trace of emotion in his voice. I get up sternly. He puts on his shoes.

"Fuck you." I say through gritted teeth leaving the room. I sit and wait for him in the car. We spend all night driving at a normal speed and arrive back at the house early morning.