Mika

Fifty-Four Mika

But I don't want to lose him.

Figuratively and literally.

Getting a good look at my man, I notice his red-rim eyes, swollen along with his nose. His fluffy raven hair is tousled, like he's been pulling on it the entire drive here. Guilt spreads through my chest like wildfire. It burns, and I feel sick to my stomach. He's figured out the truth, the truth I cultivate to hide behind.

Luka is a horrible person, and doesn't deserve to live, but wrapping him in my lies makes me feel dirty. I've always been a selfish bitch. There's only been one circumstance where I cared about someone getting hurt other than me, and we are here again. It would be so easy to lie if I didn't care.

Because when his tortured eyes look at me, all I see is the pain I'm causing. Why did the universe put you in my life? Was it to teach me a lesson or change my ways like the fucking Christmas carol? Do I get a prize for fucking caring? No, all I get are the emotions bundled into one wrapped present.

Will the shame go away when Asiel gets his vengeance on the person he thinks killed his brother? The hardest part of this situation is that I don't feel guilty for killing Ander. The fucker deserved it. I feel guilty for hurting Asiel in the process of seeking my own vengeance.

I lean my forehead on him, breathing slowly. "How do you feel, Muñeco? Everything okay? I can't help but notice your red eyes."

Asiel wraps his arms around my neck, snuggling his face into it as tremors vibrate through his body. He's sobbing violently, tugging at my fragile heart strings. I wiggle my fingers through his chaotic locks, trying to soothe him, hoping to console him.

"H-He killed him," Asiel croaks, his voice breaking, crumbling like particles of a rock. "I-I think he killed Ander. W-Why? I-I don't get it."

My voice wavers ever so slightly. "Why do you think that? I thought your brother's case was closed?"

He shakes his head. "No, that's what they wanted everyone to think. I knew the truth, my brother wouldn't commit suicide." His hand loosens on my neck, and his tear-streak face stares at me. "I wasn't a hundred percent sure until I found this." He digs in his pocket to pull out an unkempt feather. "It was at the scene of Ander's and Spencer's death. He's trying to keep anyone from finding out."

"We need to kill him," I say, keeping my gaze locked on the feather. "Before he comes after you."

Asiel sighs. "He already warned me."

My head snaps up so fast it almost breaks off my neck. "What? When? What do you mean, he warned you?"

He sniffles, wiping the tip of his nose with his sleeve. "He sent me this package with Spencer's blood and feather. I've been investigating for months, and I stopped because Pacho spoke some sense into me."

My nose slightly flares as I try to breathe through the blazing fire brewing within myself. Motherfucker. He's dead meat, and I'm feeding him to the wolves. Luka has the nerve to go after my man? Behind my back! The audacity he has, thinking I wouldn't find out about it. If they're coming after Asiel--legitimately, then I shouldn't feel bad for setting him up.

Mateo squats down, resting his arm on Asiel's shoulder. "Wait, why haven't I heard about this? That's a death sentence, Jefe. They're coming after you, and we need to hit them first."

A frown mars between my brows. "Hello, this was a private conversation."

His lips form into a closed-lip smile. "Then maybe you guys shouldn't talk in the middle of the room for everyone to hear."

My eyes narrow as I give him a deathly stare, contemplating all the ways I slash his skin apart. "For future reference, don't listen to our conversations. Keep your mouth shut, or I'll permanently do it myself."