Through All Ages 2

81st

We arrived at the party location, it was a huge club with lots of lots of people. How were we supposed to find Ric here? He will rather find and surprise us probably, I thought.
I tried to stay calm but my heart was beating so fast. There were so many people. All with expesive, colorful dresses and elegant suits. Everyone talked and drank from their cocktails. I just wanted to feel save. But here it was impossible. Even behind a savity glass, metal rods and an army I wouldn't feel save. So many people. And one of them was Ric. Oh my God.

Carefully Jason held my hand.
"It will be okay", he tried to comfort me.
"I'm so scared", I admitted insecurely.
He got infront of me, put my hand into his other hand and laid his right hand on my shoulder to rub it.
"You will be fine", he said.

I will never be fine again, I thought.
This will hunt me forever. I will never be able to sleep again, not without the fear of looking into Ric's face when I wake up.

I tried to take a deep breath. And another one. I didn't feel better. Oh my God, I can't take this. How was I ever able to be in the same room with Ric or to look into his eyes even. How did I press a pillow at him in the hospital to suffocate his laugh.

I guessed, I had the energy, adrenaline, despair and the right determination. Now I was just a wreck. Already. Why so soon? I haven't even seen Ric yet. He could just pop up every second, though.

I tried to take another deep breath and looked at Jason. He seemed calm. How could he be so calm? Friendly he smiled at me and took my hand to comfort me again. I let him. I couldn't do much anyway.

Officer Salinda and Fabian worked their way through the people to the bar to get some drinks, while Agent Carter waited at a little bar table.
"Should we get over there too?", Jason pointed at the table and looked at me.
I shortly nodded and tried to move my shaking knees. Why was I so scared? Ric wasn't even here yet. Just lots of people I didn't know. I really should be more confident.

When we arrived at the table I exhaled and let go of Jason's hand to hold on at the edge of the table. Agent Carter realised how nervous I was but hid his emotions. He just looked into the distance waiting for the others to come back with the drinks. I tried to relax to the party music and calm my heart beat. It didn't really work. I needed a distraction or something.

I took another deep breath and glanced at my fingers still holding on to the table. My knuckles were piercing white because I my grip was so tight. I tried to let go and my hands sank down behind the table. I took another deep breath and kept on trying to calm my rapid heartbeat.