In Love With An Outlaw

• Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

"A toast to the good life"

'Me and my baby we gon' be alright, we gon' live a good life' — Beyoncé

« Kauner »

"Has she said anything to you?"

"No, and she's barely eating. The housekeepers told my mom that she didn't even touch her breakfast this morning." Monet responds to Milan as they attempted to whisper about me right outside of my room.

I didn't have the energy to tell them they weren't being as secretive as they thought. I didn't have the energy for anything, I had been laying in the exact same spot since I was released from the hospital last week. I found out about Amir's arrest the same night it happened because Sean told Monet and of course Monet told me.

I couldn't wrap my head around any of it to be honest, I can't see Amir going as far as murdering that girl but clearly I don't know him as well I thought. Between him cheating on me, our relationship ending and me being pregnant, I'm not sure how to pull myself out of this severe depression that I'd fallen into.

"Kauner.. get up and come downstairs. You need to put something on your stomach." Monet re-enters my bedroom, folding her arms as she stood beside my bed.

"Monet please go away. I'm not hungry." I groan, turning around and facing the opposite wall.

If I had it my way, I would be at my own house that way no one could bother me but my mom insisted that I stay in my old room until I felt better. Which would be God knows when.

"You're going to have to get up eventually, there's no need in you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself. Get up!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL?!" I jump up in the bed as soon as she snatches my comforter off of me. "Je n'ai pas faim! I don't want to eat, get out of my room!"

"Look I'm not going to act like I know what you're going through because I don't, and part of that is because you would rather deal with everything alone instead of letting the people who love you help you!" She argues back, as Milan took a seat on the bench that was at the foot on bed. "Something happened between you and Amir, whatever it is has your head all fucked up! You won't eat anything, you're not talking to anybody! What the fuck is going on with you?! I WANT TO HELP YOU!"

"I don't want your help Monet, what's not clicking? You have like three degrees so please put them to use and think! We broke up because he cheated on me with the same bitch they're saying he MURDERED! He's probably going to spend the rest of his fucking life in jail and I'm pregnant with his baby. What the fuck am I supposed to do?" I choked up as I started crying. "All week I've been trying and failing to make an appointment for an abortion and I can't! I can't do it because I already know that shit is going to fuck me up in the head. So please tell me, how the fuck is anybody going to help me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." Monet apologizes, climbing in the bed and putting her arms around me. "I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you like this Kauner."

"You don't think I hate it too?" I sniffle, running my fingers through my natural, wild curls. "There is nothing I can do about anything that's happening to me. If I go through that abortion I will never bounce back from that.