Morgan

Chapter Nine- I cant stop thinking about you

Unsent messages

I can't stop thinking about you, Morgan.
I'm literally spending my days trying to stop, but whenever there is a second I'm not busy, you appear. You're everywhere it seems.

You are every blonde I see from afar, each laugh that sounds familiar, and when I wear my jacket, there you are, your perfume back where it had been, inside the fibres of it as you seem to be in the fibres of me, lingering and sending my senses into overload with each and every waft of it under my nostrils. The scent of you, it reminds me of the warmth of your neck, the softness of your skin, the way your lips taste and then it's a slippery slope, because when I start to envision you I see you laughing or that teasing smile and I miss you. I miss you more than I should, because what was it? One night nine months apart, and a walk in the dark?! You really shouldn't be in my fibres Morgan, not as much as you are, and I'm not sure how to get you back out now that you are in there...

Morgan Keaton, a name I cannot stop rolling over my tongue. I've found myself between game days googling you like a psycho, you most certainly had a socialite life in New York didn't you?! I've lost count of the pictures of you looking beyond stunning at art openings and fashion shows, and to know now from speaking to you that this was beyond your comfort zone. It's incredible really, you look at home, and yet I see when I look a little deeper that you are most at home on a baseball field, your hair under a snapback, shades on, and your girls playing the field as you lead them through a game. Theres a picture of you in the local paper from the season before you left last, and you are heavenly in that picture, because you are at peace. I can see it's where you love to be, and I'm glad you returned to it, a life that makes you happy.

Whilst I was obsessively googling you I found a picture of Annie and you, many actually, and she's gorgeous. I kinda felt a little jealous, even though she was your wife, is your wife. I don't have any right to be, because what are we if anything but a hook up?! The thing is Morgan, you don't feel like a hook up to me. I've never had a one night stand and then spent months thinking about her, never, and yet here you are, night and day, haunting me like a real life ghost.

***

"Leah" Teddy acknowledges, entering the gym beside me and stepping onto the running machine "you've been quiet" she says pressing a few buttons. She speeds up beside me to my pace.

"Have I" I ask.

"What's on your mind"

I continue to focus on the one spot outside of the window ahead of us as I pace my run "Not much" I reply.

"Should I have asked who...and not what" she asks curiously.

I look to her briefly, and she raises her eyebrows "Morgan right" she asks.

Just the mention of her name makes me feel a little dizzy.

"I mean a little" I confess.

"Are you not in contact at all" Teddy asks.

"No not since phoenix"

She thinks about that for a moment. "She's back this way for Christmas. Annie has the kids so they will share them over the Christmas period... which means she will be here for our New Years club event in the city. The one Avery and I are hosting ... so if you happened to come... she will most probably be there"

"The lesbian New Years rave" I ask.

Teddy laughs "the very one" she returns with a wink. "The perfect place to reconnect don't you think"

I smile "I mean I wouldn't mind seeing her again... it would have been six months by then"

"Good... come... Avery and I are getting paid a small fortune for hosting it and the more famous gay girls we invite the better... and you Leah Mitchell made the list for most eligible single lesbian in sports..."

"Did I" I ask shocked.

She laughs "I will text you the link to the article" she says amused.

***

Unsent messages

I'm expecting the kids back in three weeks and I couldn't be more excited, but it also marks the end of your season on court which I guess is a good thing, because I bought the sports channels four weeks ago, just for you. I've been watching all of yours and Teddy's games. The entire game my eyes don't leave you... I couldn't tell you if you win or lose them. I can only tell you how it felt to watch you, and to peek into your life for a moment, a couple times a week, on game day. I have got a little used to it, sitting on the couch and immersing myself in your world for an hour here and there. When the season comes to an end I won't know how to feel close to you anymore, from afar... so if you could start posting more on your social media I would be forever grateful, much love, your secret stalker.

Leah...I just can't stop thinking about you!