La Reina - Alexia Putellas

21.

After the match against Finland had ended, every Spanish player came towards the tribune time after time to meet their family and friends after the 0 - 1 loss.

Everyone, except for Alexia.

The Spanish captain had been laying on that pitch, before Mapi was the one helping her up, as she gathered herself back together.

She didn't look up. Alexia was afraid her red, puffy eyes would meet with sad ones. Eyes, that would be thinking she failed.

With that thought, even deep down she knew it was completely wrong, she just left the pitch, went straight into the locker room, taking an ice cold shower with the hope she could wash all of those bad feeling away.

She was so angry. Not with the team, but with herself. She felt like she didn't do enough. Like she wasn't enough.

She washed the dirt from her body, rubbing those places over and over again, feeling the need to get cleaner. She felt so helpless. So lost.

Alexia didn't even want to take part at the post-match meeting with all the teammates and members.

Listening to the coaches words was hard. Alexia just tried to keep her ears shut at this meeting, somehow able to control herself before more tears were flowing.

When it came to losing, she was a very emotional person. She hated it to fail. She couldn't lose.

It was until the Spanish captain was finally back in her hotel room, that she felt herself being able to breath again. She lets her bag drop next to the bed and crawls under the blankets, expecting herself to be there for the rest of the evening.

Maybe then, she will be better tomorrow.

Erin had waited the whole afternoon for Alexia to contact her. Or Alba. To call or even write a text. But she didn't.

When the therapist had asked the other team members in their hotel lobby, they said Alexia didn't come down for dinner, she would probably just be in her hotel room on her own.

Hearing that the athlete didn't eat, Erin decides to grab something for the both of them at some place she knew was near the hotel and found herself standing in front of Alexia's door half an hour later.

"Alexia?", Erin knocks twice, leaning towards the door to hear some movement from inside. But there wasn't any. No sounds.

"Alexia, please open up...", Erin knocks again, her voice a little softer this time, because she didn't want everyone in the hallway to hear her.

Again, the athlete didn't open.

"Mi amor...", Erin breathes, her forehead resting against the door as she knocks again twice. Suddenly, she heard some movement inside. Footsteps that were coming towards the door.

Erin breathes relieved when she sees the door open, even if it was just a little bit. Alexia had left the door immediately, sitting back on the edge of the bed where she had been resting since two hours.

The blonde carefully comes inside, closing the door behind her, as she stares into the mostly dark room with just the night stand lights on.

"I grabbed us some food. There's this nice restaurant a few streets away. Thought you might be hungry", Erin announces when she stares at Alexia, the captain sitting there in a pair of jeans and a white Nike shirt, her hands in her lap as she stares at the white wall in front of her.

Alexia doesn't answer.

She just stares at the wall, looking overall concentrated. She didn't look sad or broken anymore. Not even frustrated. Just focused.