we shouldn't

fifty one • medication

As I was fast asleep I heard my door crack open and close softly. I blinked my eyelids slowly, expecting the room to be bright but all I saw was a dark room and a blinding light.

"Billie?" I whispered, sitting up straight.

"It's me" she whispered back.

I laid my head back down on the pillow and closed my eyes. Feeling a dip in the bed and hearing the blankets shuffle around. I didn't feel Billie's arms wrap around me like they usually do.

"Can you hold me?" I mumbled quietly.

No more words were said as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed the back of my neck softly. I felt a tear drop slip out of my eye before I drifted back to sleep.

-

"His surgery did go well but not completely to plan. We fixed most of the nerve damage but we were not able to access the nerve causing the seizures. He is awake and stable but the seizures have been getting more intense. We will prescribe him a medication to help slow the seizures but there are no guarantees that the medication will help." The nurse explained with a compassionate face.

"Okay, so he's going to be okay?" Grace asked anxiously.

"He will be okay" the nurse confirmed.

"Thank you so much" Grace exclaimed with tears of joy.

"You're welcome, would you like to see him?"

"Yes. Spencer, Billie do you want to come?" Grace asked.

"No, you go for now" I smiled and gestured to the hall before she walked away.

I sat back down on a chair in the hospital lounge and Billie sat down next to me with a sigh.
There was a long pause before she decided to speak up.
"I'm really really sorry Spence," Billie said softly with a shaky voice.

"It wasn't true and I don't know why I said what I said, I was just upset I guess and I was scared. I wanted to see Jacob too, your family feels like my family and I-"

I cut her rant off by quickly placing a hand on her cheek and pressing my lips to hers. She hesitated at first but quickly kissed back, placing a hand on my shoulder. I pulled away after a moment and kept my hand on her cheek.

"Billie it's okay. I know you and I know you'd never intentionally hurt me. I'm sorry I didn't stay."

"I'm still sorry and I'll forever be sorry. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

"Thank you for coming"

"Always."

-

"The nurses say he can come home in a week" Grace explained as we sat around the dinner table.

"Why a week?" Billie asked.

"They need to monitor him on the new medication and make sure he's stable enough."

"Okay, we can stay with Quinn and Asher" Billie added.

"Yay!" Quinn exclaimed with a smile.

"That won't be necessary Billie. Jacobs parents are staying and I'll go to the hospital for short visits"

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes. Billie, you need to finish that tour and Spencer you have a job to get back to as well" Grace smiled.

"Fine, but if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me okay?" I said with a serious tone.

"I will Spencer"

-

"Our flight is at 5 am so I'll have enough time to get to soundcheck" Billie explained to Finneas on a FaceTime call.

"Sounds good. Danny said that we can circle back around to the one show you missed." Finneas smiled, "and I'm so glad Jacob is okay."

"Me too" I yawned.

"Alright we're going to sleep, love you Finn" Billie waved goodbye.

"Bye, love you both" Finneas said before hanging up.

"You tired?" Billie asked, moving in her side so she could look at me properly.

"Kinda" I shrugged.

"So I was thinking...when we get back from tour, you could help me look at that apartment?"

"I'd love that" I smiled, reaching out a hand to hold onto Billies.

-

"These are fire!" Billie exclaimed breathlessly.

"That was a really good show, Billie! Your energy was insane" I kissed her cheek, putting my camera away.

"I'm just happy you're back and everyone is safe"

"Me too! But I kinda can't wait for your to be over so we can look at that apartment!"

Just then the door slammed open and Claudia gave us both a concerned look.

"What?" Billie asked, confused.

"Umm... so at the hospital, someone saw you guys."