we shouldn't

thirty nine • broken promises

A/N: this picks up the evening of their one year anniversary.

TW: Blackmail, self-harm, anxiety, depression, drugs.

I sat on Billie's bed admiring the promise ring she gave me today. She was so cute when she gave it to me, She was a little nervous and shy. I don't know how it's possible to fall in love with someone a little more every day but that's the case for me.

I'll never forget the words she spoke as she held out the ring.

"So we're too young to get married. At least that's what people say.." she chuckled.

"But I couldn't go another day without putting some kinda ring around your finger." She said a little anxiously.

"I don't know how this shit works" she chuckled and I reached for her hand and intertwined her fingers with mine, feeling a sing tear escape my eye.

"I promise to respect you and love you for the rest of time. Fuck, I don't know what I'd do without you. I'll always be here for you, to hold your hand and comfort you through tough times. I promise to spoil you and to be your own personal doctor when your sick" she chuckled at the last part.

"I know for a fact that things won't always be perfect but I'll try with every bone in my body to protect you and make you happy" she paused and let go of my hand just to place hers on my cheek.

"But holy shit Spencer, you're my everything and I love you so fucking much, I want you to be mine forever" she sniffled a little and wiped away my tears.

I was so speechless all I could do was connect our lips in a passionate kiss before she slipped the ring onto my finger.

Currently, Billie is in the shower and I'm sitting here on her bed just staring at the ring. It's on the finger beside the ring my mom gave me. It's a bittersweet situation. I love Billie and I love the ring, I know my mom would have loved seeing it on the finger beside her ring. I also know that if my mom hadn't passed away, I wouldn't have the ring from Billie. I never would have met Billie.

My phone buzzes and I open it seeing another text and two pictures from the anonymous number. You gotta be fucking kidding me. I know in my heart I shouldn't open it, or I should at least tell Billie but I don't want her to worry.

iMessage
Anonymous

Are you scared yet?

I read the text and open the first image. Again a clear shot of my face. My face with my tongue stuck out. The picture wouldn't be a problem if there wasn't an acid tab sitting on my tongue.

My fingers start to shake and my heart beats fast. I pull out my vape and hit it over and over again, trying to swallow my tears back as I open the next picture.

I'm at a party. I was so fucked up on drugs I don't even remember this picture being taken.
I'm fully nude on top, only my fingers covering my nipples. My tongue stuck out, again with an acid tab.

I quickly shut off my phone and throw it in my bag. Billie walks back into her room with damp hair and an oversized shirt.

"Where are you going?" She asks, furrowing her brows.

"I-I'm tired I think I'm just gonna go home" I stutter, holding back my tears.

"Are you sure I thought-

"Yeah Billie I'm exhausted but we have a shoot tomorrow right?" I cut her off.

"Yeah at 11. Want me to pick you up?" She asks, her voice a little concerned.