Harper

Chapter Thirty Three: Stop

The two hours to Teddy are the longest and most excruciating of my entire life. Everything rushes through my mind, everything I should have said and did differently.

This entire situation was a misunderstanding. I didn't want anything to do with Ethan, he was nothing to me and Teddy was everything, she was everything.

I keep pressing call on my cars bluetooth but it rings out. I know she's literally five minutes ahead of me on the freeway... "please Teddy" "answer me" I beg.

We were both following the lights along this same stretch of road, both going insane with wild thoughts that didn't need to be, this didn't need to happen this way.

Tears run down my cheeks as I consider how differently this night could have gone if I had stayed home and she had turned up and asked me the one question I had been dying for her to ask me. Now she was running away from me, because she assumed the worst of me, and she was right to be mad. I should have just told her I saw Ethan still, because Teddy never said don't see him, she just avoided him. So why did I then make it seem worse by not giving her the chance to know and hiding it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

My car ringing suddenly makes me jump and I answer it quickly.

"Teddy's dad has been taken to hospital" Mama says and I can hear it in her voice, the worry and panic.

"What" I ask stunned.

She hands the phone to Willa as Wren cries "hey Harps... sorry mama has just had to get Wren...I just had the call from Callie. Teddy doesn't know yet, we can't get hold of her but I wanted to warn you before you got to her that she might have just heard, or not have heard at all ... but she will be in a state" Willa says "shall I come down" she asks.

I shake my head as I concentrate on the road "no I will... I will be there for her... what's happened is he going to be okay" I ask.

Willa pauses "it sounds like he took a funny turn at work ... his heart... they still aren't sure but it's not great"

"Oh god... Teddy" I whisper.

Willa let's out a breath "I know" she says softly "are you okay Harper"

I let out a sob "no Willa I'm not but I'm almost there now... "

"She loves you... that's why this perhaps hit her a little too strongly... she is terrified to lose you Harper... absolutely terrified"

I wipe my eyes "Well that makes two of us" I confess.

"You will both be okay"

I nod "we have to be. I will text when I get there" I say and I click off.

***
I text mama and Willa that I've arrived and I look next to me, to Teddy's car, and up to her apartment windows, the lights are on.

I put the phone in my purse and get out quickly, practically running into the foyer before pressing the elevator buttons aggressively. It's in no rush and I'm beyond rushed so I take the stairs and I run up them until I'm panting and holding my side, with a stitch. I walk down to her door and lean my forehead against the metal, my hand rising and knocking as I try and catch my breath.

I hear the movement inside and the door slides open to Teddy speaking Greek into her phone, her face awash with tears. She leaves it open for me and walks back into the centre of her apartment, her hand threaded through her dark hair. She's  heard the news and the devastation is clear, suddenly I feel as if our night and what we need to discuss is extremely small compared to her fathers current state.

I sit on the end of her bed and watch as she goes through the terrifying moment with her sisters and I wait. I wait because shes going to need me, in any moment as her world collapses she's going to need me, to be the one, to finally hold her, to be what she has been for me, a tower of strength and comfort.

"antío se agapó" she says and she chucks the phone down onto her couch, her hands running through her hair and sitting on top of her head as she turns and looks to me.

I stand up and walk over and wrap my arms around her as she slumps down against me and sobs. I run my hand down her back in soothing motions and try not to cry myself because she didn't need my tears.

"I'm so sorry about your dad... I hope he's going to be okay" I whisper and she nods against me.

"He's in surgery" she says through tears.

I continue to run my hand down her shoulders. "Teddy . I'm so sorry that this has all happened at once..."

She slips out of my arms and moves back wiping her eyes "doesn't it always" she laughs a little through the tears "I knew it would... I knew it was a little too good... a little too perfect"

I shake my head "you know I don't like Ethan... you know" I state.

She nods "believe it or not this isn't because I think your about to run off with that fucking little shit... ugh" she says frustratingly thinking of him "Harper I'm not jealous of him... we clearly love each other, you and I. I've never, not, felt that from you... that love and I give it back... I give it back ten fold ... don't I?" She asks.

I nod as a tear runs down into my lips.

"Then why didn't you tell me... that you guys lunch together... that you've been seeing him for months? knowing he likes you this time? He told you he wanted to court you before Wren was born and made it clear he likes you... as far as I'm concerned that was the moment you should have thought to perhaps step away from him. He has been nothing but clear and you have not. It makes me feel like you let him stay around, incase I didn't ever commit to this with you"

I shake my head and frown "Teddy that's an awful thing to say" and I walk over to her and grab her cheeks roughly "don't think that...or say that...ever... again. I messed up with him. I shouldn't have let it go on so long...I know... but it's done.I told him tonight that I'm in love with you and I am with you"

A tear rolls down her cheek and under my hand. Her brown eyes are filled with tears.

"I love you Theodora Nomikos" I confess "and I don't want to go backwards with you" I beg looking into her eyes and willing her to feel it, she nods and leans forward kissing my lips, they are salty with tears.

She breaks away, her phone ringing again from the couch, my hands drop from her cheeks as she moves away, she picks it up and a very intense and tearful conversation ensues before she clicks off "I have to pack a bag and go, it's looking like he won't make it" she informs me as her face washes with every emotion you can imagine, emotion belonging to the fear of losing someone you loved.

"I will help you pack" I say as she grabs her suitcase and begins to fill it quickly.

She stops mid panic and places her hand on mine in the suitcase "I love you Harper. I'm sorry that this ... that I ran... back there. I just felt so, so afraid to lose you both. You know I love you both... so much" she confesses.

I reach out and wrap my arms around her neck, she leans into mine and inhales the flesh there.

"You're not going to lose us Teddy" I whisper "we wouldn't let you" I add and I lean back and she kisses my lips.

"I don't know when I will be back" she confesses worriedly.

"The only thing that matters is that you will be" I say running my hand down her cheek... "and we are only probably talking a week Ted because he will be fine, he will be back in that restaurant by the weekend, you know he can't stay away... not even on his knees with illness"

She nods "I hope so Harper, but this feels a little... a little different" she says caressing my cheek "I will get back as soon as I can" she promises and she looks back down to the suitcase as we go back to filling it.

I didn't realise as I helped Teddy to fill that suitcase that I was packing her up for a trip that would actually end up taking her a little further away than I expected. It would be for a lot longer too, and it wouldn't be her choice or her wish to leave us. I just wouldn't get the memo... not the day that I was intended too.

Ethan was going to be the one to put a full stop on Teddy and I, and one day when I realised. I would curse the day that he was born ... because what he was about to take from me was unforgivable....

The love of my life and whole load of time.

***