Harper

Chapter Fifteen: Unavailable *

Teddy has a loft style apartment, it is airy and light, lots of wood flooring and exposed brick walls. As you come through the rolling metal door you can see a large queen size bed on one wall, a kitchen opposite as far as you can go and a couple couches. There is a colourful rug and a large tv in the middle of the apartment and the views are pretty awesome, the blue of the river catching my eye as it rolls on my past the building from afar, what a view.

"Like it" she asks as I walk in, hand on hip as I balance out my bump.

Wren seems to be pushing up one side of me, throwing me off a little. I look around taking it all in, Teddy's space, but it hits me that there's nothing personal anywhere, no photos, no obvious objects. "Did you rent this for today" I tease.

She looks around "why" she asks as she crosses the space and pulls a locked case from under her bed, she places the gun inside it and locks it and pushes it back from where it came.

I shiver a little to think of Max again, to see Teddy and him and the fear it evoked. I thought he would hurt her I had no idea she was about to hurt him, and I didn't have one ounce of pity for him, he wasn't a good person and sometimes bad people don't understand normal ways people say "no" or "leave me alone" but they most definitely understand metal pressed to their crotches, apparently.

"I don't see you here... I mean I love it... but where's all of your things from Oregon and your pictures" i ask.

I sit down on the edge of the bed.

She looks around and then sits beside me "I only moved here at the beginning of the season. I haven't got everything out of storage from New York yet"

"Ah that makes sense" I reply "I thought perhaps it was another way you avoid emotional attachments"

She turns quickly to look at me "ouch" she squeaks "not nice"

"Teddy you are the most unavailable person I've ever met in my entire life... tell me you're not" I challenge raising my eyebrows.

She frowns "I've never been unavailable to you" she returns.

I nod "Yet" I return.

She shakes her head and walks to the kitchen to pour a drink. "I don't like your tone" she says and she pours the water from a jug and puts it back in the refrigerator, returning to me and handing it to me.

"Thanks" I say taking a sip.

"Harper I will always be available when you need me... you and Wren, so I don't know what you mean" she returns

I place the water on the bedside table "I don't see one thing of Jays in this apartment... no pictures, no clothes... nothing "

"He's never been here so you wouldn't" she says matter of factly.

I am totally confused "he's never been to your apartment" I ask curiously.

"Nope we mostly stay at hotels or I see him at his" she returns.

"Why are you with Jay" I ask "what is it you even like about him Teddy" I add because I really couldn't see it.

She shrugs her shoulders "he's easy" she returns and I nod and then shake my head and she looks to me curiously wondering what I am thinking.

"You like Jay because he is easy" I question, and she nods.

"Harper he asks nothing of me, we laugh together, enjoy physical intimacy on occasion and talk ball... he doesn't want to pin me down, other than the obvious sense, he just wants to come in and out and enjoy each other when and if we do... it's easy. I don't even have to think about him. I just enjoy him"

"Wow Theodora... wow" I say sarcastically and I try and stand but my face screws up with the effort and the way I had to really attempt it slowly.

She stands and reaches out her hand "let me assist you to stand... so you can lecture me from an elevated position" she says sarcastically, and I let her as I take her hand.

When I'm on my feet she sits back down and looks at me again, awaiting my words with a defiant look. "Teddy you do all of that with me right now... we laugh, we play, we get as intimate as humanly possible with a beach ball between us, you come in and you come out and that's easy right?" I ask annoyed.

She frowns "it's not like that Harper"

"It is" I say a little louder, a little more erratically as I consider how Teddy held me in the same regard as Jay fucking Jones.

Teddy grabs my hand and pulls me toward her, her spare hand taking the other, her chocolate brown eyes looking deeply into mine "Harper it's not the same. I don't think of Jay when we aren't together... but I think about you" she confesses.

I gulp. "You do" I ask relieved.

She nods and smiles gently "all of the time... you and Wren are always on my mind, you're important to me... it's not the same as Jay, not by a long shot. Harper you are someone I would never be unavailable for. You're my best friend... you're family and I love you" she says lovingly.

I know it, of course I know it but would it kill her to add in to the love... because I felt the same way but it was becoming obvious I loved Teddy a lot more than a friendship could hold.

Wrens entrance into the world, it had to come first and I could only deal with one huge emotional entry to my life at once. My daughter needed it to be her, for now it had to all go to her. Teddy and I could be amazing, I knew it, and one day I hoped we could figure it out, iron out the details of the obvious, until then I loved Theodora Nomikos and I could most definitely be her friend, or whatever it was we currently were, as long as she was always, always available.

"Teddy" I whisper.

She looks to me curiously "yeah" she returns squeezing my hands.

"I'm not going to lie... the way you kicked him down to the ground earlier..." I begin.

She starts to smile "yeah" she adds like she knows what I'm about to say.

"it was kind of hot... and the hormones... are raging" I add a little teasingly.

She cocks an eyebrow "oh really" she asks seductively.

She lets my hands go and runs hers up my arms, not breaking eye contact as she undoes my dungarees and let's the clasps fall down "let me assist you with that" she whispers against my ear, and god I wished I could straddle her right now.

Teddy was too much for me, one look made me weak, one smile made my heart flutter and one touch, god, I close my eyes as her fingers slip under my bra and I release a small moan as she squeezes my sensitive tips "fuck" I whisper...