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𝕭oggarts. A Boggart was an amortal shape-shifting non-being that took on the form of its observer's worst fear. Because of their shape-shifting ability, no one knew what a Boggart looked like when it was alone, as it changed shape instantly upon encountering someone. The incantation to stop a boggart was replacing your fear with something funny and saying a 'riddikulus'.
I had no idea what my boggart would be. Most people have spiders, snakes, death, clowns. I wasn't particularly scared of those things, well spiders made me uncomfortable but I wasn't really terrified of them like some people are.
"I want everyone to picture the thing they fear the very most and turn it into something funny" Professor Little announced to the class, instructing us to form a line. The irony was that Professor Little was very tall, 6'5 at least, he was even taller than Remus.
We formed a line, around the middle. James, Sirius, Me, Remus, Peter and the girls behind us. The self preserved Slytherins stayed at the back of the line, probably not wanting to face their fears. A few people went before us until James' turn, the boy walking up to the boggart with his wand ready as it took form. Corpses of Monty, Mia, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, me-
"Riddikulus" He shouted, the dead corpses of us all performing a ballet number in pink tutus causing us all to laugh as Sirius stepped forward, his wand ready. I watched his shoulders tense as the form took place of someone. Battered, bruised, bloodied.
"You failed me, Sirius, you told me you would protect me" Regulus cried, Sirius frozen in place, his wand shaking in his hand. "This is your fault. Everything is your fault"
"Padfoot, it's a boggart, it's not real!" James called to him from the back of the line, although Sirius made no attempt to stop the boggart of his younger brother saying how much he failed him.
The Slytherins were snickering at the back of the class, as if they were bold enough to face their fears themselves. I knew how much he cared for Regulus, how much he wanted to protect him from everything, which is why I pushed him back in between Remus and I stepped in front of him myself. My heart stopped beating for a few moments as I stared at the form in front of me, the whole class becoming so silent you could probably hear a pin drop.
She was beautiful.
Golden locks like mine, high cheek bones, plump pink lips, angelic structures and aura, except her eyes were blue. Ocean strong with strong currents waving through them. The same pair of eyes I used to gaze into and feel a sense of comfort and home.
I stepped closer, sliding my wand in my pocket, and staring at her. Deep down I knew why she was my boggart. I wasn't scared of her, I could never, I was scared of forgetting her. Forgetting what she looked like or what her voice sounded like when she would call me name or read me bed time stories. Scared of forgetting how we used to be a family and now it was only Papa and I left. I was scared I would forget she ever existed.
"That's not scary" A ravenclaw commented from behind, Remus shushing them. The four boys exchanged a sympathetic glance, no one saying a word. Not even the professor. No one knew quite what to say.
"Come on. I know you don't want to but you need to do it, this will only hurt you more the longer you wait" Sirius whispered in my ear from behind, placing my wand back into my hand from my pocket.
I blinked away the tears in my eyes, closing them briefly, pointing my wand at my mother, "Riddikulus" I voiced, my once mother turning into jack in a box, moving up and down. I walked out of the classroom not waiting for anyone else, trying to stop my tears from falling, my hands trembling. I made my way to the dorm, sliding underneath my covers after changing into comfortable clothes as Magnolia laid beside me sensing my mood when I came in. I shut my curtains around my bed, wanting to be alone and not disturbed.
•••
"Hey, Amore.." A soft voice whispered after a few hours, gently pulling back the curtains and sitting on the edge of my bed. My eyes were probably as red as they felt from crying and sleeping on it, the girl didn't seem to mind though, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay, Alice" I mumbled, smiling half heartedly at the brown haired girl, feeling some appreciation for her. She was the sweetest.
"Okay...just let me know if you need something" She replied, not pressing any further before smiling and closing my curtains up again, whispers filling the room from the other girls.
"He won't speak to anyone it's getting weird" I heard Lily whisper, my eyebrows furrowing. Who is she talking about?
"Not even James?"
"Not even James"
"He said no to doing a prank as well"
Oh. Sirius. They're talking about Sirius and his boggart. Regulus. I had been so wrapped up in my experience I forgot about his. I sighed, swinging my legs over my bed and walking out of the dorm without another word, towards the boy's ones. I knocked, James answering and scanning over my face.
"He's all yours" He mumbled, kissing my cheek before leaving, allowing me in his dorm. I trudged in, closing and locking the door behind me and laying down beside him on his bed as he stared up at the canopy of his bed. I closed the curtains, enveloping us in darkness we stayed in silence for a while, laid side by side, my eyes closing briefly.
"You haven't failed him" I whispered, playing with the ring on my finger, twisting it around. "You wouldn't fail him"
"I'm already halfway there, I left him. That's my fault" He said in a low voice.
"The Black's fault. Not yours" I corrected, breathing out softly, "He's still here, Sirius, make it right with him because until you do this guilt your feeling will eat you alive. You still have him, and he's important to you, you are not going to fail him"
"Are you okay?" He murmured, shifting his body to turn on his side facing me. Like he cared anyway.
"I'm okay, the grief is a reminder that she was real, as long as I feel the pain, it won't come true" I replied, feeling him run the pad of his thumb under my eye, wiping away the tear. "It's not like you care anyway"
'If only you knew how much' Sirius thought to himself, gazing at the golden haired girl as she stared upwards, her blinking with her long eyelashes becoming longer and slower. He sighed, draping his arm over my waist and pulling me into him, turning me onto my side facing away from him. I didn't question his movement, allowing him to hold me close to him, the both of us needing comfort right now. I fluttered my eyes closed, allowing sleep to wash over me as we laid in silence together on his bed.
Sirius laid there for a while with the girl, hearing her soft breaths leaving her mouth, conveying him to believe she had fallen asleep. He swallowed thickly, edging closer and brushing his lips over the back of her neck, knowing she wouldn't be able to feel it before closing his eyes himself, drifting off into sleep.
