𝙶𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙶𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙾𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

47. If I could tell them

TW// Death

Context: Your brother had known Hunter for months and you didn't get along with your brother much. You attended one of their missions, and your brother died on it.

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"Y/n, you're gonna make us late to our mission." The Golden Guard said opening the door. 

You pulled your blankets over you. "I'm not going..." You said. 

"Come on, Y/n," He said pulling the blanket off. "I know you miss him, but seriously, it was a month ago..."

You glared at him, "You expect me to get over my brother's death in a month? Do you even care he died trying to save us?"

"Of course I do, Y/n! But...I'd rather not dwell on it."

You turned away. "I'm such a terrible sibling, if I had helped him with that monster he'd be here..."

Hunter sighed. "I-It's not your fault, Y/n..."

"If we hadn't fought...we wouldn't have alerted our presence to the monster though..." You said softly. "He died because of me...he should have hated me..."

Hunter sat on your bed. 

...

"He thought you were...awesome." Hunter said after a few seconds of silence. You curled in a ball. 

"He thought I was awesome? My brother?" You murmured before snorting.

"Definitely!" Hunter said looking at you, smiling.

"How?"  You asked looking at him.

"Well..." He hesitated. "He said...there's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle...and perfect and real.." Hunter said looking back. You raised your eyebrows. "He said, 'You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel'."

You smiled. Hunter sighed before speaking again, "And he knew, whenever you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans." Hunter got up. "And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those fantasy books,"

You started to flush, "I-I mean..."

"But he kept it all inside his head. What he saw, he left unsaid..." Hunter turned his head to look at you. "And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you."

Your gaze dropped and Hunter balled his fist. "He couldn't find the way...but he would always say..." Hunter looked at you, "'If I could tell them, tell them everything I see...If I could tell them how they're everything to me'..." He said touching your head. 

"'But we're a million worlds apart, and I don't know how I would even start. If I could tell them'..."

If I could tell them...

You looked at him, interested, "Did he say anything else?" You asked getting up.

"A-About you?" Hunter stammered.

You panic. "Never mind, I don't really care, anyways-"

Hunter grabbed your shoulders. "No, no, no-...just, no, no..he said- he said so many things! I'm just I'm trying to remember the best ones. So, um..."

He thought for a minute. "He thought you looked really attrac-, er..It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair!"

You lit up, "He did?" You asked hopefully. He said they looked dumb...

"And he wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there..." Hunter's expression turned sad. "But he kept it all inside his head, what he saw he left unsaid..."

Hunter grabbed your hands. "'If I could tell her tell them everything I see, if I could tell them how they're everything to me'" He squeezed his eyes shut. "'But we're a million worlds apart and I don't know how I would even start. If I could tell them'"

If I could tell them...

Hunter pulled away. "'But what do you do when there's this great divide?'" He quoted.

"He just seemed so far away." You looked away.

"'And what do you do when the distance is too wide?'" He continued, tears in his eyes.

"It's like I don't know anything..." You said your voice turning rough, tears falling.

"'And how do you say 'I love you'?'" Hunter whispered looking at you. "'I love you!'"

"'I love you!'"

"I love you..."

"But we're a million worlds apart...And I don't know how I would even start." He brought you in a hug, his face red and wet with tears. "If I could tell them..."

If I could...