Who Am I (A Jai Courtney Fanfic) Book 2

Chapter 29-Meg

Meg

Mom and I work together to cook dinner.  We're slicing the potatoes, tossing them in olive oil and herbs, then roasting them in the oven.  Once they're in, she turns to me. 
"I know you're fully intending on remaining pure, but temptation can be a snare.  I think this is going to be difficult for you to resist," she warns me. 
I look down at my feet and nod.  "That's kind of why I wanted to talk to you about it.  I didn't know what to say but I thought it was a bad idea.  I honestly don't want to be alone in a foreign country, though.  Culture shock and jet lag are difficult to deal with.  I really struggled with both in Japan.  I feel like it's going to be the same there... but I'll have Jai.  I feel like he'll help me through it," I explain. 
She nods in understanding. 
"Perhaps you need to tell him about what happened with Arthur," she advises. 
I nod in reply.  "That's a tough story to tell," I admit. 
"It is.  But something can be learned from it," she says soothingly. 
I sigh shakily and nod. 
"I would also advise you not to lounge around on a bed together.  That can lead to other things as well.  Marriage is a sacred covenant and the behaviors God expects to remain there should remain there.  If he's interested in that, then he needs to commit to you fully first," she says and I nod. 
I start prepping the green beans while my mom handles the fish. 
"I was thinking of volunteering for dinner at south tomorrow," I say. 
"That's a good idea," she replies.  "Service keeps you busy and helps you stay focused on God.  The more you serve, the better you focus on his will."
"Maybe I can ask Jai to join me.  I don't know if he's ever done anything like that before," I say. 
"It couldn't hurt.  It's definitely a life-changing experience," she nods.  "How was it in Jamaica?"
"I think God really moved on his heart there.  The children in the hospital, at the school, and the build... I could genuinely see something in him that I don't think was there before.  Or at least, I had never noticed before," I elaborate. 
"Service changes a person for the good," she advises nodding. 
"How do you want the green beans?" I ask. 
"Plain steamed or pan fried with a little olive oil and garlic?" she asks. 
"In the pan sounds good," I say. 
"Okay," she nods. 
"How much garlic?" I ask. 
"Maybe two large cloves for that bunch.  If they're small, a little more," she recommends. 
I nod and peel the garlic.  They are really big.  I put them into the press and squeeze them into the pan.  I put a light drizzle of oil in the pan and toss the whole washed, trimmed green beans in.  I sauté them for a moment before they're done.  I take the pan off the heat and glance at my mom's two pans of fried fish.  They look incredible. 
"You can call them in," she says. 
I nod and go upstairs to see if Mikey's in his room.  I open the door to see him on his bed.  His floor is covered in clothes and junk but at least there's no food mess in here so we won't have to worry about ants this Spring. 
"Dinner," I tell him. 
He doesn't move.  He's laying in his bed looking at something on his laptop.  I can't really see his face.  I step inside carefully over his clothes and stuff.  I pat his leg.  He looks up at me and removes his head phones. 
"Dinner," I tell him again. 
"Alright.  I'll be right down," he says. 
I step through his stuff and walk down the stairs to see Jai and my dad watching a fishing show together.  I smile. 
"Dinner's ready," I tell them. 
"Okay," my dad says turning off the tv. 
I step into the kitchen and pull out some dishes.  I set the island for all of us and get some drinks.  I pick up my mom's homemade tartar sauce and a bowl of lemon wedges she cut up earlier.  I get some ketchup out and realize I forgot utensils.  I grab those, too. 
We all sit together and pray over the meal.  I can feel the caress of Jai's thumb against my hand and I smile.  We start to eat and it turned out so well.  Jai compliments us on the meal and my mom is grinning cheerfully.  I continue on my food and notice that my mother can't stop smiling. 
"Everything okay, Mom?" I ask. 
"Everything is perfect, Nutmeg," she beams. 
"Alright," I laugh in surprise.  I don't think I've ever seen her so happy.  I wonder what's gotten into her. 
"So, your sister and Jai are flying out to Australia on Monday," my dad tells Mikey. 
"That sounds fun," he comments.  "When are you coming back?"
"The week of Easter," I say. 
"What are you going to do about church?" he inquires and that's a good point. 
"I'll take care of it," my mom insists.  "Maybe I should get you off the schedule for a little while.  You've been busy and handling so much.  Some others could take a turn."
I smile and nod, "Thank you."
"So... Jai?  When's that movie screening?" my mom asks. 
"I don't know.  I should probably check my email.  I actually haven't looked at it in a while," he says getting out his phone. 
"Huh," he says.  "I forgot about these."
"What's that?" I question. 
"An award show," he mentions.  "There's one coming up.  You want to go?"
"Um," I laugh awkwardly. 
"You definitely have the wardrobe for it now," my mom comments. 
"When is it?" I ask. 
"After Easter," he tells me. 
"It doesn't sound like there will be any problems, right, Nutmeg?" my mom says. 
"Ah... I guess not," I reply a little uneasy. 
"It'll be fine, love," he tells me grasping my hand. 
"I'll be out of place," I insist. 
"You'll keep me company," he responds. 
I sigh.  "Alright," I agree. 
He smiles and looks really happy.  I'll just have to get used to this side of his life. 
Mikey helps clean up dinner and I take Jai downstairs to talk.  We sit on the sofa together.  He immediately starts caressing my face. 
"My mom and I were talking about me staying with you.  She was giving me advice but she also felt like I should tell you something about Arthur in his youth.  Mikey doesn't know because he was too little at the time but I remember... because it happened in front of me.  You can't tell Mikey about this and I'd ask you remember that this happened before Artie was saved," I say. 
"Of course, love," he replies. 
"We weren't going to church regularly.  At the time, we were more of the Christmas and Easter type crowd—we believed but weren't practicing regularly.  I was probably seven when this happened.  The high school lets out an hour before the elementary schools," I tell him. 
"Primary," he nods. 
"Yeah," I smile.  "So, Artie was home.  My mom and Mikey were out shopping or something.  My dad was still at work.  My bus dropped me off at home and I walked upstairs.  I heard some noises coming from his bedroom and I thought he was hurt so I opened his door to make sure he was okay.  I want to remind you that at this point, he wasn't baptized," I confirm and Jai nods. 
"I saw my brother and his girlfriend in bed together.  He yelled at me to get out so I went to my room.  Afterwards, he tried to convince me that they were doing naked push-ups together," I say awkwardly. 
Jai actually laughs and I slap his arm playfully. 
"I wasn't stupid.  I knew where babies come from.  Anyway, I told on him.  He was getting in a lot of trouble at the time and then this happened.  Apparently, they had just been laying around on his bed together.  Then that turned into making out on his bed, then oral sex, then they started just outright having unprotected sex.  My parents talked and talked with him about how that kind of behavior should stay within marriage.  We all started going to church regularly.  We actually started going a little before then because of some of the shows and movies Artie was watching in front of me.  He watched the South Park movie with me and had me repeating one of the songs in there because he thought it was funny. Have you seen it?" I ask. 
He shakes his head. 
"Let's just say that every other word was the F bomb and I was seven and Artie had exposed me to that so I was repeating it.  That's why we started going to church more.  Artie was kind of a bad influence.  After that incident, he went to church and youth group regularly because my parents made him.  He stopped sleeping around with his girlfriend and she broke up with him because she didn't want to stop.  Anyway, it turns out she was already pregnant," I say. 
"I see where this is going," he says.  "So he and Yvette got married."
"This was not Yvette," I tell him sadly. 
He frowns. 
"Artie wanted to get married.  He was only fifteen but he wanted to make things right.  He could've gotten his GED and still worked for my dad... but she didn't want to.  He said he wanted the baby.  Her response was..." I frown and I feel Jai reach out for me.  I sigh shakily.  "She didn't want the inconvenience of having a baby, even if he took it and she had no connection after that. She didn't want to ruin her body with stretch marks and put on weight... so she aborted it."
I start to cry and Jai consoles me. 
"It's not that bad, love," he reassures me. 
"Do you know much about abortion?" I ask him. 
"I've always been pro-choice," he says easily.
I close my eyes and rise. 
"I'll be right back," I tell him. 
I walk into the kitchen and wipe my tears.
"Everything alright, Meg?" Mikey asks as he's drying a frying pan. 
"We're going to watch Unplanned.  If you don't want to see it again, I suggest you don't come downstairs," I tell him. 
He cringes, "Nope.  I can find something else to do."
I grab the movie and my mom asks about what I'm getting.  I explain. 
"Oy vey," is her response.  "Once is enough for me.  I don't mind buying it to support them but that's a one time watch."
"Yeah," I say leaving the room. 
I go downstairs and put the movie into the player. 
"I'm going to let you make your own decisions about this.  I'm going to play a movie based on a true story.  This woman used to work for Planned Parenthood.  You can see what they really do there.  I'm just warning you, the first time I saw this, I did vomit.  Maybe I won't this time because I'm aware of what's in it and this is not the actual abortions, just dramatized but still what they do," I tell him. 
I sit down beside him and we watch the movie together.  At one point he puts a hand to his mouth.  I think he sees what others try to sweep under the rug.  I sit here and try to breathe calmly as we continue.  By the time of the credits, Jai is the one to turn it off. 
"What do you believe?" he asks me. 
"That abortion is murder.  It's used as a method of convenience.  I think of it as child sacrifice.  I believe people use it as a form of birth control rather than for the less than 1% of rape cases.  I also think people try to justify it because of that but that's not it's use.  I think people place too much emphasis on their careers and themselves.  That's their god," I say. 
"The babies actually move away in pain?" he asks. 
"Some people try to say that they don't feel anything but now they're starting to give the babies anesthesia before they... perform the procedure.  Artie's girlfriend was at least three months pregnant when she found out because that's when she told him.  She wanted cash for the abortion.  He refused.  He said he'd take the baby and my parents would help.  She cared more about her body than her own child," I say sadly. 
"What happened to his girlfriend?" Jai asks. 
I wince. 
"Is it that bad?" he questions. 
I nod.  I sigh before telling him, "My mom ran into her mom a couple years ago.  She asked how Lynette was doing.  Her mom said sadly that she was working at a strip club and on all kinds of drugs.  My mom mentioned the abortion and asked how she had coped afterwards.  Her mom never even knew about it.  Mom told her that it wasn't what any of us wanted, that we would've taken the baby."
Jai holds me as I just stare. 
"I never really knew any of this," he says.  It sounds like he wants to say more but remains quiet.