The Outcast

Madness

Izuku: "I can't feel what they're telling me...how...how is it that i can continue living like this?" 
"because you are you" 
Izuku: "but what purpose does it serve...other than to just be a killing machine...a weapon of war...a nightmare" 
"they don't understand what you really are" 
Izuku: "and so do you!" 
"you are just pathetic...thinking that even you could comprehend yourself" 
Izuku: "what...what are you saying" 
"you are just ignorant...aren't you?" 
Izuku: "I don't...I don't understand" 
"why do you think he knows so much about your father?...why do you think your mother has kept his death so long from you?" 
Izuku: "i Can't...NO..I won't listen...I won't!" as he continues through the dark abyss...he sees images flashing before 
"NO..NO IZUMI PLEASE!!" 
Izuku: "get up...fight back!" but then  
Shigaraki: "we are allies Izuku...until the end..." 
Izuku: "you're lying!" 
Dabi: "You really think taking your life is worth it?" 
Izuku: "NO MORE!!" 
Ochako: "you have failed everything you ever wanted...you are nothing" 
Izuku: "SHUT UP!!" 
Kurogiri: "You have been worth nothing since you were born...your own father failed to show up for your birth...for he wants nothing to do with you" 
Izuku: "GRAH!!!" hitting his head on the ground...trying to make it stop 
Shigaraki: "it tells me...that you don't give a shit about your friends right?...that you don't care for what happens to us...Izuku this..Izuku that...what about us...what about the league?...if Sensei ordered..no...If I ordered you to kill that bitch will you do it!" 
Izuku: "you know how much she means to me" 
Shigaraki: "please..she doesn't care...she only cares that you are a nice looking guy...if you were that weak frail quirkless boy who believes in a dead dream...then she wouldn't so much as give you a single glance...let alone a wave...why do you keep running!?" 
Izuku now gets up as he tries to get away from it 
Ochako: "What is there to run from!?" 
Dabi: "your living a lie!" 
Kurogiri: "a tool for the greater power" 
Izuku: "FUUCK!!!!" until he jumps and he falls...as he feels no wind...nothing....away from the voices...away from the thoughts...but he can't
Inko: "Izuku...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry" as he remembers when he asked her...if he could be a hero like his father...like his idol...how he wished she could've said yes
Toshinori: "son...I'm....I'm sorry son...but...you can't...be a hero" as he asked the same question to his step-father...who at first he thought was quirkless...before he found out he was his idol...shot down in a heartbeat...and again..as his idol
Ojiko: "he is quirkless...i have done all the testing and it's certain..that no quirk cells are present...I'm sorry young man..but you have to think of a new dream" growling again...but it was cut short
Izumi: "You really think you would be cared for?" another memory 
Izuku: "what?" 
Izumi: "mom and dad only ignore you..because they don't know what to do with you...they choose to forget you..because mom can't stop thinking about her dead husband...she's just needing someone to love like her own...me...your just a living reminder of what she had lost" 
Izuku: "You" 
Izumi: "and you can't do anything about it...even if you had a quirk...your just a relic, a deku...meant to be brushed away by the world and left all alone to be rotting away in the waste that is your people...and those you killed" as he looks down to see he is standing on the bodies of those he had killed..the heroes...the students....all those who wronged him 
Izuku: "and you think it will stop me from putting you into this pile cunt" growling out 
Izumi just smirks: "who knows...you might kill them before you get to me" now back into the dark abyss 
Izuku: "i hate this...please...just let me out...please...I don't want to be alone...I hate this...I'm so used to it" 
"IZUKU!!" as he looks up...seeing a light and a ledge 
Nejire: "GRAB ON!!" trying to reach out for him...as he jumped up to grab her hand...seeing her pulling him up...until something grabbed his leg 
Izuku: "what?!" looking down
Bogeyman: "You cannot escape who you really are" as he tried to hang on...she tried as well
Nejire: "NO!!!" losing his grip..as he was once again pulled into the darkness...away from the light...

Izuku: "GAH!!!" waking up now...breathing heavily...taking off his mask...he looks back at the corpse...starting to smell now...the horrid stench...but he didn't care...looking down again...at his gas mask...seeing the lens reflect showing himself
Izuku: "Nejire" as he takes his phone out...he wanted to call her..wanted to say everything to her...tell her who he is...what he is...but...he can't...not even if he could try in the first place...he calls her 
Izuku: "please...just please pick up" crying out 
Nejire: "zuzu?" there it is...that angelic sweet voice he so dearly loves 
Izuku: "Um..hey Nej...I uh" he tried to form a sentence...but he was tired already 
Nejire: "Izuku...is everything alright?" concern in her voice
Izuku: "Yeah" looking at the corpse...then back to the mask 
Izuku: "everythings fine...listen...are you available right now?...or do you want me to call back?" 
Nejire: "no no...it's okay...i always have time for you" 
Izuku: "r-right" wiping his tears again 
Nejire: "You sound like your crying...what's wrong?" 
Izuku: "I'm just...dealing with some problems..and i may...lose my mind thinking about it" 
Nejire: "well lets meet up...do you want me to head to your apartment?" 
Izuku: "I..I was actually thinking of meeting at your dorm...i'm sure they're fine with that right?" 
Nejire: "well..things have been a little tense...especially when they think there's a mole in the school...hmm...oh!...how about the bridge?..is that good?" 
Izuku: "yeah...that'll be fine...that'll be fine" whispering the last part 
Nejire: "okay..I'm gonna head down there now" 
Izuku: "right..I'll see ya then" 
Nejire: "mm-hmm!...love you!" 
Izuku: "L...Love you too" and he hangs up...he puts the gas mask on again...and heads back down into the sewage system...where he will change and meet up with her...walking through the dark again...he smacks himself to try and get rid of those thoughts 
Izuku: "if this is just four...i have two more vials to go...three technically" thinking about the vials...Ochakos right...he is going insane...and it will continue to grow to a point...that he can't hide it anymore...Ojiko...that name suddenly came to mind...then he remembers the test results...how his fucking mouth told them how he's useless...he's next
Izuku: "Ojiko...I'm coming to kill you" as he now has a new goal in set...once they are done with the Yakuza...he's coming after him no matter what...and nothing..can change his mind 

Nejire: "alright i'm heading out!" 
Yuyu: "just make sure to be back by Curfew" 
Nejire: "yep!" and she flies out...since it's in school grounds she can make a shortcut right up to the gate
Nejire: "hm hm hmhm hm!" making a song in her head...as she walks out the gates...heading to the bridge where the couple would normally hang around at...checking her phone to see if he's messaged her about anything...but so far none has come up...but...then her mood shift...she knows how much pain he is in right now...he's holding it in...she needs him to vent...or try to help him in some way...otherwise..he's going to blow up...
Nejire: "it's alright zuzu..i'm coming" and she now speeds up to hurry down to their meeting point...turning a corner...she sees the bridge up in a distance....and she sees Izuku standing..fidgeting around...now she's worried for him...she makes her way towards it...and has to walk up a few flight of stairs...until she hears him 
Izuku: "I'mnotreadyforit..howwillsheseemewhenicomeintotermsofwhatiam..." his muttering was almost gibberish...that even she couldn't understand it...but a few words stand out to her 
Izuku: "alwaysrememberiamfilth...alwaysrememberiam Nothing!" weeping out again...she hurries 
Nejire: "Hey hey!" waving to him...and like a switch..he snaps out of it...but...he doesn't respond...he just walks up to her..and hugs her...burying his head into her shoulder 
Nejire: "oh Izuku" as she hears him crying out loudly...they both sat down at the bench overlooking the river..as the sun was barely setting..it would make for a great picture...but right now..she needs to focus on him 
Izuku: "I'm sorry for calling you out here...I know you and the others have much more important matters to do...like your interships again" 
Nejire: "no..it's okay...I'm sure it can wait...your what matters to me" 
Izuku: "okay" as he just leans on her...she hums to him...trying to help him relax...as the warm sun hitting them was soothing enough...he ends up laying on her lap...as she played with his hair...
Nejire: "your really cold...did you go into a freezer?" 
Izuku: "work" 
Nejire: "oh...is work okay?" 
Izuku: "for now...nothing new so far" 
Nejire: "okay...we could also just sit here if you like" smiling down...as he looks up at her...seeing the sunlight on her...he feels like he's in heaven...while he just stays in the shadow...but...her eyes...filled with nothing but love and care...her smile...that even he...is in awe of it 
Izuku: "how are you so nice?" he groaned out
Nejire giggles: "I don't know...it's in my nature i guess...shh...rest" 
Izuku: "okay" holding on to her hand...as she brushes his hair...he soon...felt his eyelids being heavy...and he felt heavier in general...as the wind and the trees moving...the river flowing...instead of being abandoned...under a blanket of ice...or fire...for just a moment...even a second..he's living the life he truly wanted...even if it's an illusion or conjured up from his madness growing