Shy

Kit

The dance ends far too quickly for my liking and although I try everything I can to grab another moment alone with Clara, it just doesn't seem to happen. I opt to walk home, feeling deflated as I remember the panic in her eyes as soon as she would spot me throughout the evening, moving so that she's always with someone, never alone.

I took the hint and eventually stopped trying.

I sigh heavily and pull the ridiculous mask from my face, glad to finally feel the breeze against my forehead. The walk home seems longer than usual and I take it as a blessing. I need space right now, space to sort out my thoughts and my feelings.

I've never really thought about what would happen if Clara didn't like me, didn't want to be with me. My heart sinks as I think about it now.

I run a hand through my hair agitatedly, moping my way home as a horrible sense of hopelessness engulfs me. I've tried to be myself and if that's not enough then I never will be enough.

I unlock the front door, closing it gently and wander into the kitchen, tossing my mask down. I take a seat at the table, my face falling in to my hands as I sigh heavily. I tug at my tie uncomfortably, loosening it and unbuttoning the top button of my shirt. I lean back, fiddling with my tie as I try to clear my mind. I groan, my head toppling into my hands again as I realise that the sight of Clara tonight will be the only image in my mind for weeks.

"What's up with you?" Saskia's voice rings out and I laugh humourlessly, not bothering to look up at her.

"The usual." I mutter gloomily. She sighs and makes her way over to me, patting my shoulder gently.

"You're doing all you can, and.." She trails off and my ears prick up at the sound of tentative steps outside the kitchen.

"Um.. sorry to interrupt. Kia, do you have anything I can borrow to sleep in?" A small voice asks and I stiffen completely in my chair. My fingers curl tightly in my hair as I exhale sharply.

Kia patters over to her quickly, mumbling something about looking in the laundry room for her.

I had no idea that she was here and yet again my pulse is racing so fast through my veins that I feel I may faint at any moment. I shake my head hopelessly and get up quickly, walking towards the opposite door in the kitchen.

"Kit?" Her voice rings out and I groan internally, half infatuated with the way she says my name and half tormented by her ability to sneak up on me.

I pause by the door, not able to look at her but unable to ignore her. I turn my head only slightly, indicating that she has my attention.

She hesitates and the urge to look at her is unbearable. Is she ok? What does she want?

"Thank you for making this evening so special for me, I know...I know I wasn't who you really wanted to spend it with but I had a really nice time." She says tentatively.

I frown deeply, wandering what the hell she's talking about. If I had had the balls I would have asked her to accompany me outright, not rely on my sister bringing her as a plus one. There's no one else that holds even a cent of my attention.

On a moments whim I turn around. She's turned away from me and is just about to leave the room.

"There's no one else that I would have wanted to spend the evening with." I say slowly, softly and she pauses.

I turn away and walk up the stairs, hearing Saskia wail about her lack of pyjamas.

I chuckle to myself and walk into my room, meandering over to my chest of drawers. I hunt through my clothes, finally finding a large black t-shirt. I scoop it up and text Kia to come upstairs.

She knocks at my door a moment later looking apologetic and sheepish but I wave her off. I hold out the t-shirt and she looks at it with a puzzled expression.

"For Clara to wear to bed." I mumble and Kia laughs, cooing at me slightly.

"You're so sweet, Kit." She chirps and I roll my eyes, closing my door in response.