the cabin || l.t✔

twenty three

Zayn and Perrie.

I look closer to see them laughing at each other as he chases her with something which makes her squeal our laughter and run away from him. He catches up to her and wraps his arms around her waist as he catches her.

I then see her turn around and wrap her arms around his neck while he grabs her hips and their lips press together. I stand across the road from them and bite my lip. I feel my eye sting a bit and my stomach tightens.

They pull away and continue walking and I soon realise that her shirt was Zayn's. I swallow and keep walking, speed walking home. It didn't take long before I made it home to an empty house, storming in and going upstairs.

I go to my room and open my drawer. I rip open the box and pull the row of condoms out. I pull them off each other and out them in the box so it was easy access.

I grab my phone and text Louis.

Me:  can you come over?

Louis: are you home?

Me: yes

Louis: okay

I smile and stand up. I was in a weird mood. Even after seeing them together makes my blood boil. Perrie is stealing my best friend.

I open my drawer and pull out my red lace bralette and g-string. I've never worn this before and I bought it to make my single self feel better but maybe she might come in use.

I take my clothes off and put the set on, before walking over to my mirror and look at myself. I part my legs and pull the underwear up further so they sit on my hips, making them look good. I turn around to the side to check out my ass to see it looks good too. I look at the lace bralette on my chest which makes me look at them in the mirror.

I felt sexy.

I smile and out my clothes back on. I go into the bathroom and brush my hair, making it straight. I spray some of my expensive perfume and cough a bit from how much I used. I put some grape chapstick on and pop my lips.

I go back into my bedroom, changing my normal shirt to a tight red silk cowl neck singlet. I don't know why I was dressing up considering it was just Louis but I wanted to make me feel good about myself. I was feeling good about myself today, and just seeing Zayn with Perrie really made me feel sad because he looks happy.

And sits another girl.

I'm happy for him but he won't even talk to me still. And he has a new girlfriend, he's probably forgotten about me and just doesn't care enough to unblock me and talk to me so I can fix what I did.

I get what I did is probably unforgivable, but he didn't even let me explain. I'm officially giving up because he clearly doesn't want to fix this and I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do so I officially give up

If he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore then I wish he would just say it rather than him not saying it and I try with everything in me to try to fix it. And that's why hooking up with Louis is actually helping me because it's distracting me from how much he hates me and is ignoring me.

Today I was in a bit of a cheeky mood. My sister and mom were both at work and I would be alone until 5pm which is ages away.

I made my bed, not making it look like I've made it though, just so it looks neat. I look out the window to see Louis walking up the lawn. I run down stairs and open the front door which he spins around and goes to panic. "No one's home," I say, grabbing his hand abs pulling him inside.