A Vampire's Love - Edward Cullen (Twilight saga)

Chapter 24 - Reason

"Did it ever happen to you ?" I asked him. "Meeting someone whose scent was better than other's. A lot more better ?"

"I did." Carlisle confessed.

A sense of hope started to fill me up, no matter how ridiculous it was. "What did you do ?"

"The same thing you did. I fled. Which brings me to ask you, why did you come back so soon, Edward ?"

I sighed. "Rather than betraying your trust, I prefered to leave. If things had been different, I would've stayed longer. But now..."

"You have something to lose." Carlisle completed me. I nodded, and he approached me to put his hand on my shoulder. I could see his compassion through his eyes. "I understand, Edward. I hope you realize that it comes with responsabilities. Do what's possible to keep Isabella Swan, alive. Even if it means, leaving again."

"I know. I know..."

Not only did I hate feeling like a coward by fleeing, but a part of me was also curious about this girl. How could one human being have a shield against my gift, but also trigger my senses this much, without even trying ?

"But you're not even thinking about leaving again, right ?" Carlisle asked, after deciphering my expressions.

I shook my head.

"Then do your best. Do not push your limits. But remember that if it's too hard for you, we'll follow. It would be better to leave before a life gets taken, right ?"

"Yes."

"Shall we hunt now ?" Carlisle suggested.

Although I also hunted before coming back to Forks, I thought it'd be better for me to be overfed before that biology hour on Monday. But deep down I knew that no matter how much liter of blood I'd drink tonight, it would mean nothing once I'd be seated next to Bella Swan.

~~

When I came back to Aiyanna's house after getting rid of the scent of blood on me, and my clothes, I found her still sleeping. I was the one to wake her up. This simple action had the power to make me feel happy. No matter how mundane it was, it made me forget the monster inside me. It made me feel normal.

After having her "human moments" as she liked to call them, Aiyanna had found a sit on my lap, and stared at my eyes as if she was trying to find an answer. The way her left eye squeezed as she looked at me suspiciously and the small frown that appeared on her forehead made me smile.

"Rather than looking at me like that, don't you think it'd be better to ask what you want to know ?" I suggested.

"If you can't do this, will you leave again ?" Aiyanna asked.

I could sense worry in the sound of her voice.

"I'll come find you." I told her.

Aiyanna sighed. I felt guilty, for being the one she loved. For not being able to give her the classic love story she deserved. Would she have been better off without me ? I couldn't help but think of Aiyanna's future. She'd go to university, start a career, get married... I could see her, dressed in a white dress and walking down the aisle with her father on her side.

But I also saw her growing old, and passing away. This simple thought brought sadness and pain in my chest. I envied my family. They had people who'd stay with them for eternity. They had a certain guarantee that I didn't have. I once thought about the idea of Aiyanna turning into one of us. But although I was cruel enough to stay around her no matter how dangerous it was for her, it wasn't to the point where I would put her through this much. I couldn't impose this choice on her.

"Promise me that no matter where you are, no matter what's happening, you'll come to me." she said.

I brushed her face with the back of my fingers, and she closed her eyes at the contact of my cold skin against hers.

"I promise."

She opened her eyes, and her once worried face brightened with her smile. Unexpectedly, Aiyanna pecked my lips, but instead of letting her lean back, my hand on the back of her head didn't let her go anywhere. I may have been pushing my limits, but I wanted to be consumed by her presence. Her lips were calm but were at the same time, asking for more. This kiss was a mix of despair from me and passion from her. However, it didn't last long. As soon as I felt the venom rushing into my canines, I pushed Aiyanna so suddenly that she looked at me with a surprised expression on her face.

"Wow, okay hum..." she started, while trying to collect her thoughts. "If that's how we're going to start our days from now on, I'm here for it." Aiyanna said enthusiastically, which again, made me forget about the sudden manifestation of the monster inside me.

"That would be pushing my limits and putting you in danger." I reminded her, but still not displeased by the idea.

"But, we can also see this as practice for you to get used to me." she shrugged.

"Are you using my weakness to your advantage, right now ?"

"Of course, I am. It's the only weapon I have." Aiyanna bluntly answered.

How could someone so optimistic be around someone as negative and doubtful as me ? How could she see light in a person as dark as I was ? I didn't deserve such support from her.

"Let's go now, or we'll be late." she said as she stood up, and picked up her bag.

"I'm the one driving, remember ?"

Aiyanna's smile died down and she rolled her eyes. "Ugh..."

During the car ride, the only noise were made by my car and the music that was playing from Aiyanna's favorite flute CD from my collection. The contrast of our temperatures while holding hands and the way our thumbs simutaneously stroke the back of each other's hands were enough to make me focus on her and nothing else. I refused to think about what was waiting for me. I refused to think about what I could do, and decided to focus on what I had today.

I didn't find the reason to keep Bella Swan alive. Instead, what I found was much more valuable to me.

It was a reason to stay with the people I cherished.