While I'm not fully finding the title catchy, I totally understand why you used it. It matches the theme and plot of the story really well and I wouldn't recommend changing it.
Cover : 4/5
Beautiful cover. It matches the theme of the story so very well. I got goosebumps when I went back to it after reading, for how much it made sense.
Blurb : 7/10
The blurb was good. It gave the relevant information and told us about the MC and plot. The only problem is that it is a bit too long, so I can't call it catchy. Reading the blurb didn't get me excited to read the book as soon as I opened it. In fact, it made me feel lost and bored until I re-read it after reading the book to realise the significance it actually had to the story.
First Impression : 4/5
I both loved and was confused by the starting of the story. The hook wasn't one I'd call very... hooking (is that even a word?), but the way the scene and sets were built up was really great. But if I take the first chapter as a whole, it wasn't very intriguing to read about her enrolling into school right off the bat. Do I think you could have started the story without the flashback and still made the story work? Yes. And I will tell you why.
The whole scene wasn't one that was very hooking. In fact, this disaster of enrollment was mentioned plenty of times in later chapters so that we would have understood what was happening fine without the first chapter. One of the pieces of advice Rick Riordan gave was to start the story from the second chapter because as writers, we have a tendency to over-explain to the reader the backstory.
Plot : 15/20
Lovely and well-built plot with a lot of foreshadowing. The reason I took out a few points is for the filler chapter that you can do without. The first few chapters were mostly focused on character building and the pacing was a little slow. There was no real tension in the first few chapters, hardly anything to keep the page-turning. Don't get me wrong. It was really interesting enough to keep reading, but not the high stakes, I can't put this down kind.
Flow : 5/10
Your flow was both good and bad. At times the flow is really good and engaging, but then at times, it felt more like you are telling the story than showing it.
The very first chapter for example. The hook if you want to call it that. There was hardly anything show-y about that entire scene in the bathroom. Showing isn't just about incorporating setting into the scene, the world-build, it is also the use of emotion and body language cueing the reader into the characters head. And since in the topic of emotion...
Emotion : 3/10
This is the weakest aspect of your story.
When we say emotion, it doesn't exactly mean if the character feels anything, it is how much the reader felt what the character felt, how much we suffered or laughed or cried with them, and on that count, I hardly felt an outlet of emotion from Beth. There was very little tell of portraying emotion (which ineffectively affects the flow of the story as well. Lack of emotional writing makes the flow choppy and almost robotic).
So the question comes how do we portray emotion, make the reader feel what the character is feeling? By doing exactly that. In your case, you don't outright say what the character is feeling, but the cues you gave to her current state of mind were small explanations of the situation at hand, not what she was feeling.
Let's take the scene where Minji took Violet's side on Liberation day. That scene caused a lot of hurt for Beth. The only person she had on her side had, for the first time, taking the side of her nemesis and there was hardly a reaction from Beth. Where was the twisty feeling in her guts? The shock? The inside feeling tells, the body language (even if she had kept her cool, you can point out that despite her outer cool, how hurt she truly felt on the inside).
Grammar/Vocabulary : 9/10
Your grasp of grammar and the words you use are apt and fitting. I really have nothing to criticise here.
Character Development : 6/10
I'll be honest, I didn't read very far, only about halfway and I didn't see much character growth from the, but I feel like there's a lot of growth for all characters in the later chapters, so imma leave this at a 50-50
Writing style : 4/10
I feel like this might be just me, but your writing style is very factual and rather emotionless as I've already stated. This wasn't helping me to connect to the characters at all, not helping me route for her win, if anything the plot alone kept me engaged and the only reason I cared she won is that I didn't want the world mind-controlled by a maniac. Would I have cared if the mv had switched? Not really. So I would really suggest mixing some showing into your writing and not keeping it very plot-centric.
Readers enjoyment : ⅗
I loved the story very much and would have read further if I had the time.
