Hey, I like the cover. Even though it's not a face claim but a simple one. The beauty of simplicity.
Blurb : 10/10
About the blurb, it wasn’t too revealing. It also provided enough information that was required for the reader to know right at the moment. So, it was nice. It addressed the information about the protagonist, Annie here, though it didn’t explain anything further, it did create the feeling of anxiousness.
First Impression : 4/5
Ok, this is also a quite used up plot. But it depends on you, the way you write is what makes it special. I liked it, ok my first expression was going straight up UwU over the homie feeling, I could imagine the morning scene playing in front of me.
I really liked the way you introduced the starting of the chapter by talking to the readers, directly breaking the 4th wall, I liked it a lot.
Plot :19 /20
As I said before, this is a used up plot, but yet it is unique. I found it fascinating, because stories where the protagonist is an idol is a very very very used up plot. But the way you wrote it, was a cherry on top. I have no complaints.
Grammar/Vocabulary : 7/10
I’d say you should start rereading your books lots, because there were typos, the first chapter, had a typo, ‘Introductio’ instead of ‘Introduction’
And also you could've used a little bit more punctuation. Like the ‘truly, I love my unnie.’ It felt really incomplete to read without the appropriate punctuations. Also, at the beginning, you used too many ‘...’ or ‘ellipses’ where it wasn’t necessary.
Try to use ellipses, where the sentences are either left incomplete,or to signify many unsaid words. It can also be used for time when the OC is thinking while speaking.
Emotion: 10/10
Ok, while reading any book, or novel, try to notice how the novelists are trying to reach out for their readers, Since, that could help a lot while writing your own piece of idea/ plot. Also, the amount of emotions, it was enough for this story. Just the perfect amount. Perfect amount till now, because there is still a lot to be published. I wanna see this flourish like a fine wine.
Character Development : 6/10
Ok that file incident, don’t you think it was too soon to approach a person to be your friend? This determines that the development is rushed,
Try to slow down, And you know, You could have made Annie approach the unknown person to be her friend at perhaps a few more meets. And it would have been a little more relaxed and understandable, given that Annie’s and my personality matched a little.
I am Annie on a daily basis, straight up weird and chaotic. So, perhaps, you could have made them meet at any other place and then Annie would go like, “Oh the file saver? How come you’re here?”
This could make the story more presentable. Also,more people could relate to Annie...
Writing style : 5/10
You know, you shouldn’t use emojis. That is unacceptable. Instead try learning other ways of describing the situation.
You know, even though the little explanations in between may seem really cute and informative, believe me, that is one of the mistakes that writers make while writing any piece of idea/ plot. So, try to be professional.
For example, instead of using ‘sparkle emoji’ you can use this, ‘She stated with sparkles in her big doe eyes, making the male OC melt under her gaze,’
Sounds good?
And i realised this so late, this doesn’t sound like a novel but a play with a set up. Don't do that please, Try practicing your writing and this will help develop your writing a lot. You can start writing small paragraphs and then trying to see how a reader would view it.
With this you can not only improve your writing but also, fight the anxiety of ‘Predictable plot’ , this will also develop how you view the world.
As a writer you should be able to view the story from both the povs, both protagonist and the antagonist,
That will provide the missing spice in the story you write.
Reader’s Enjoyment : 5/5
I loved reading this book, though it wasn’t complete,
Overall : 4.5/5
You still need to work out tho. I know you are able to write wonders. If you start working more on your skills, I would love to see you attract more readers too. :)
Have a great day <3
Total : 74/100
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