Hey, I like the cover. Even though it's a simple one with a face claim, The beauty of simplicity.
Blurb : 10/10
About the blurb, it wasn't too revealing. It also provided enough information that was required for the reader to know right at the moment. So, it was nice. It addressed the dark past of Tara here, which enhanced the curiosity of reading the book further, The setting here is amazing. I like it...
First Impression : 3/5
My first impression was so mixed on this story. This story is angst, then why does it give off the decent non-angst vibe, You trying to catch me off guard? Well, about that, and mixed also because, I have read stories about something or other thing relating to this one, or revolving around and having the same plotline, But then you have the power to make it more magical. And also, I found grammatical error in the first chapter itself.
Plot :16 /20
As I said before this is another used up topic, you used a little too high words, more exaggerating words... The magic you used the words you used, it didn't give me the vibe that it was anything angst. But, I need you to make things look more lonely, the starting part, you could have set it up like, "Closing your eyes you felt the november gale hitting you, carrying a sweet scent of freedom. Stuffing your hand inside the pocket you continued the little trail, you decided to go on. At the brink of a drunk night. The night looked lonesome, but desirable in its own way."
You could have added a few more words about the surroundings you are in, It helps imagining the readers a lot.
Grammar/Vocabulary : 7/10
You used a little too high level words, more exaggerated words... Or difficult to read words, Try keeping things simple, EXample, "Secluded" you can use, 'concealed', 'private' then you used 'mélange', when you could have used 'mixed' or 'miscellany' and bae, what 'smudge' its 'Blemish' use blemish, I get it you wanted to use 'Kalank' a hindi word but use Blemish instead because, smudge is used for makeup and other reasons.
More grammatical thing, I think you forgot to read the intro and disclaimer, you should reread it, you repeated the word put.
The punctuation usage was well and good, No over usage of ellipses like many authors do, Good :)
Emotion: 6/10
Ok, while reading any book, or novel, try to notice how the novelists are trying to reach out for their readers, Since, that could help a lot while writing your own piece of idea/ plot.
The amount of emotions used here are lacking, like you saw Jiminon the street, you even made out with him, but the only excitement ever detected here was "Park Freaking Jimin" add more fangirling,
You describe nicely, but add more emotions like the gratitude you felt from them, the inner little girl, the fangirl trying to suppress her fangirl nature, try to make things more realistic than perfect.
Character Development : 6/10
Ok, the development is too fast, you gave your first kiss to Jimin!? When you could have pretended to make out? That seems so unreasonable, and okay, she got unlucky after meeting Jimin XD but then there was a spark of luck again and she met Jungkook recreating the scene of I need you, it is honestly, a little cringe, ok little more cringy, Bangtan would pay admit your hospital bills and get you admitted in the hospital probably hire a guy or girl to look after you, but never in the bazillion years they would drive you to their apartment,
The Character development here is just so rushed, try to think practically, Try to think and make it more realistic than cliche,
It was rushed. The character development was rushed, take a little more time, use more filler chapters, but don't make things escalating quickly, if it's not meant to be escalated...
Writing style : 8/10
Gurl, I like the way you write, I see development. You have talent but it needs sharpening, your vocabulary is already quite strong, but I don't think you know how to make the correct use of that. You need to learn where you have to use 'weird' and where you have to use 'bizarre' you see everything depends on the way you write,
The only thing that connects a writer with the reader is the way they write and how well they write and how well they can make everything leap out of their phone and see it happen in their imagination. That's the art of writing.
Try writing more descriptive description paragraphs, that will help youtube the sense of how to describe a certain surrounding, Then try to observe the everyday things going on in your life, real life situations are the best and the easiest to describe,
Reader's Enjoyment : 3/5
It was ok,
Overall : 3.5/5
I really wanna see you blooming, you have talent but the talent needs a little sharpening, that'll do the magic.
If you start working more on your skills, I would love to see you attract more readers too. :)
Have a great day <3
Total : 75.5/100
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