A Vampire's Love - Edward Cullen (Twilight saga)

Chapter 23 - Gone

For the first time, I had been in a situation where the demon inside me that only manifested while hunting, saw Aiyanna on his way. The sudden images of me letting my teeth pierce her neck had hit me so violently, that I had tightened the grip around her wrist to stop myself from initiating any action.

It was my fault. I was a fool to believe I'd be strong enough to protect her. I was a fool to make promises I couldn't keep. Not as a vampire.

"This is the face of a man who's having women problems." Tanya tried to guess, as she sat down next to me.

I smiled out of curtesy, but my eyes were deprived of any emotion. I was well aware of Tanya's attachment to me, but I couldn't return her feelings. Especially not now, that my heart belonged to someone as fragile as Aiyanna.

"You could say so."

I saw Tanya's expressions lighten out of curiosity, but her thoughts showed her disappointment.

"Did the Edward Cullen, famous for rejecting any women, finally found the one he's going to spend the eternity with ?" Tanya asked. "Which clan is she from ?"

The one I'd spend the eternity with. I wasn't granted such a happy love story. And yet, for nothing in the world, would I impose this choice on Aiyanna.

I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Sorry. Irina and Kate told me that I should leave you alone. They think I annoy you."

"You don't." I reassured her. "On the contrary, I am the one being rude. I am sorry, Tanya."

So you are not staying, right ? - she thought.

Hiding from Bella meant staying away from Aiyanna.

Coming back to Aiyanna meant putting Bella in great danger, and have Aiyanna become a collateral damage.

"Staying here doesn't seem to help me think straight." I confessed.

"I have to admit that I'm quite disappointed. I thought you were indifferent to women for a moment, but you were just indifferent to me."

"You deserve to be loved so much more than these stars, Tanya. Don't let my choices convince you of the contrary." I tried to reassure her, but then, I didn't think that she needed these words to be aware of her beauty and her beautiful character.

Tanya pouted. "I'm not used to being rejected. But well, as long as you found someone who makes you happy."

The Denali coven was formed of Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar. Contrarily to Carlisle, they got to this vegetarian lifestyle, slowly. However, their intimate proximity with human males, showed how much control they had over their senses. I would be too ashamed to confess my weakness to Tanya.

"You don't seem like you are decided. I thought that now that you had someone to come back to, it'd be easier to make your choice. But it looks like she's part of the reason why you are here." Tanya said.

Her words met my silence. My desire to flee was as strong as my desire to come back to the people I loved. Aiyanna, Carlisle, Esme, my siblings.

Tanya put her small arms around my shoulders, but I didn't move nor misinterpret it. It was a friendly embrace. At least, I hoped so.

"I know you, Edward. No matter what or who you're running from, you'll confront it. That's the kind of person you are."

I knew that Tanya wasn't just saying that to reassure me, when her thoughts showed her perception of me. Behind the cowardness I had been hiding behind for the past six days, I forgot who I was. I never doubted of my courage or my abilities to overcome the obstacles that would be on my way.