"Finally nakagraduate din." My mom sighed dramatically. Minsan pwede na siyang magartista. "Congratulations baby!" She hugged me.
"Thanks mom!"
Everyone is so happy for me, each and every one of them are all congratulating me for graduating with honors pero may isa akong inaantay na bumati sa akin. I hope he could see me now and I hope he could graduate with us. I wanted him to be beside me when I get my diploma. That's our dream to be on the stage together.
I wish he could be here.
Maybe if he didn't go malamang dalawa kami ang may honor. Then he would be so proud of me and I for him and he'd be like, "Pasalamat ka tinutulungan kita sa Trigo kaya ka nakagraduate!"
Mayabang 'yun e. That will be his way of congratulating me. Hindi siya aamin na proud siya sa akin! Napapangiti nalang ako sa tuwing maiisip ko siya.
It's been a while since I have heard from him. Almost a month na rin ang nakaraan pero parang kahapon lang nangyari ang lahat. Sa kanila Alex o kaya kay Auntie ko nalang nalalaman ang nangyayari sa kanya. I constantly check his social media accounts for updates. Yeah I can be stalker sometimes but I only stalk him.
Today was suppose to be the happiest day of my life. Finally hello college! Pero pag naiisip ko nalulungkot nanaman ako. Nababawasan ang lungkot ko because of the boys kanina pa kasi sila asaran ng asaran at niloloko nila si Josh na kaya lang nakapasa kasi binayaran 'yung teacher.
Though joke lang 'yun. Josh is actually smart kaya lang sobrang daming kalokohan.
Nakangiti ko silang tinitignan kasi ang saya saya nila pero siguro mas masaya sila kung nandito si Travis. Napagusapan namin ang pag graduate and they are really excited. Ano kaya ang nararamdaman nila na kulang sila?
They got me into a group hug pero may nahagip ang mata ko and for a moment there I thought I saw him there. I saw Travis!
Pumikit ako at inalis ang tingin but when I look back again wala na siya. Sana pala hindi na ako nagalis ng tingin. Hindi ito isang beses nangyari sakin. This happens to me many times na bigla ko nalang siya makikita pero imagination ko lang pala lahat and when I blink my eyes he would not be there.
Bakit ko naman siya makikita dito when he's in New York.
Maybe I just miss him too much.
I miss the jerk that I pushed away.
TRAVIS' POV
I always look back at the time spent and wonder what I could have done differently. I could change, I will for her if she wants me to. If she wanted me to do more for her I will but now it's all too late. I always asked myself why we ended up like this and again, I'm left with more questions than answers.
At the end of the day the result is still the same. I lost her. I lost someone I truly cared about for the first time.
Brielle changed me for who I am. I dated all the girls and none of them had changed me until I met her. Damn, I waited for my whole life to meet her. I had learned how to care about others and most importantly I had learned how to love someone truly.
I know that love is not something that I can force but it's also not something I can plan so I'll just leave it all to fate. I love her that's for sure and I know that I can do everything for her. She wants me to go so I did if that will make her happy even if I'm hurting.
I didn't know that she have issues. I should have been there for her.
We can't be together? I accepted it but someday I'm going back for her. I will, because I promised. There are too many broken promises and I don't want mine to be broken too.
I believe that things happen for a reason. She taught me to just smile, be thankful and let things be the way it is.
I may have left but I never left her. I always hear about her from Alex and when I heard that she graduated with honors I just can't help myself but be proud at her. Damn, that's my girl!
I can't be on the stage with her but I made sure that I'm there to support her. I came back just to see her on stage with a smile on her face. Just how good it must be to be on her side to congratulate her. I want to hug her and tell her how proud I am and how happy I am for her but I know I can't.
Hanggang tingin lang talaga ako pero masaya na akong nakikita siyang masaya. And how I wish I could join them in their group hug. Nakakamiss rin pala ang mga gagong 'yun! Sa nakikita ko ngayon, maybe the happiest among them is Josh. Nakagraduate pa 'yung gagong 'yun sa lahat ng kalokohan niya! Magkano kaya ang binayad nun sa teachers?
My heart almost stopped when our eyes locked. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang alisin niya ang tingin niya. I thought she saw me, buti nalang hindi. I don't know what I will do if that happens. I gave her one last look and turned around before she could even see me.
'I miss you' I mouthed.
That is fine. Atleast I got to see her kahit hindi ko siya malapitan at makausap. What more could I ask? Hindi naman kasi lahat ng gusto ko makukuha ko.
Yeah, It's about time for me to go back to New York and there I will wait for her until she's ready.
