Have No Fear

Chest

It had been ten long weeks since Conan left Washington and me behind. As promised he called us as soon as he got back to Michigan, but since then nothing, not a single phone call.

Carol knew how upset I was by it all because I'd told her what happened between us just before he left, but I refused to dwell on it anymore. What would be the point?

He left us both really, even after promising he would make more of an effort to keep in touch with his mom. If I ever see him again, I'll kick his ass for that.

My birthday is only a week away now and then I can return home to Idaho just days after that, so I guess I won't see him again anyway. It's probably better this way.

Even though it was still a constant painful reminder of him and the time spent had together, I still wear his ring that he gave me the day he left.

I kept my word, continuing to practice every day and now silver doesn't burn me anymore. Shame he didn't keep his word to me so I could've told him about it.

Carol seems unusually chipper this morning when she comes down for breakfast, but I can tell she's up to something. A birthday surprise maybe?

"Good morning, Ren".

"I made pancakes".

"Are they blueberry?" she says when she sits down next to me at the breakfast table.

"Yep".

"My favourite".

"When is your next checkup, by the way?" I only ask because she forgot to write it on the calendar.

"It's in two weeks".

I feel guilty knowing that I won't be able to go with her to those appointments anymore, even though I still hate the smell of hospitals.

"It's okay" she places her hand on top of mine after noticing I seem down.

"Sorry" I smile weakly.

"I know you're worried about me being out here alone again, but I'll be fine. We'll still see each other and we can talk on the phone all the time".

"It's not gonna be the same waking up every morning without you there".

"Ditto".

We eat breakfast together and wash the dishes before she goes to leave for work.

"I'll call to Mario's and pick us up something for dinner on my way home from work".

"Sounds good".

I used to enjoy the peace and quiet out here when I was all alone in the cabin, but now it just seemed so different. Lonely.

Every day when she goes off to work now I sit reading in complete silence, hoping to fill that silence with anything but my thoughts of Conan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conan POV

(Flashback)

That night was dark and full of bloodshed. Things had gone bad, far worse then we ever could've anticipated, and I couldn't help but question whether it was all worth it.

"It's okay, Bobby. I've got you" I reassured the injured newbie I was carrying on our way back to the camp.

"What the hell happened back there!?" another pack member questioned after the carnage, but I was still struggling to come to terms with it myself.

"We were ambushed. Shit happens" Lara told him.

Like always she had my back. We hadn't even told any of them what we'd found yet because it was too dangerous.

We reached the camp and handed over the injured men before me and Lara took our leave, getting far away enough away from the others to talk privately.

"Is it the one we've been looking for?" she asked.

"I think so" I said quietly, pulling it out of my backpack.

This book was far older than any we've ever taken before and in a language I didn't recognise, Eastern European maybe?

"We need to get this to Samual to be translated".

"We can't with this one".

"Why not?"

"If he does that then everyone will get suspicious and too many people know about her already. There's a reason those blood sucking assholes like to keep these books hidden, so until we find someone impartial that won't run their mouth to everyone we can't tell anyone about it".

"Fine, but we'll have to keep it hidden too until we find a decent translator".

"You know what it means for us if we just leave like that?"

We both knew that we would never be able to come back. I'd already pissed off all the elders enough by being away from the pack for so long before.

"I promised I'd help you with this and I meant it. If she really is what the legends say then I'm with you to the end".

I'd done exactly what I swore I wouldn't do when I got back to Michigan and searched for answers about the White Wolf, even if it made it too risky to keep in touch.

I did this for Ren, to give her the answers she deserves. If the legends are true then she had to know before she makes the choice to go back home.

"Pack only what you need. We leave at dawn".

If we got caught then we would've be killed without a doubt. My ambition had almost got us all killed earlier that night, but I was doing it for her.

Shortly after I rejoined the pack, we received word of a shipment being moved across Europe by train that belonged to one of the oldest of vampires.

Even though he said no at first, it was me that managed to convince our leader, Victor that we should go and discover what was on it.

Little did we know just how heavily guarded that train would be, but that just confirmed to me how important it's contents were.

I found this book locked inside a silver chest, which made sense, but was no problem for me to bust open and take it before we retreated.

I'd lied to them all and told them there wasn't anything of value inside the train, but discreetly gave Lara the signal that I'd found something.

I just hoped Ren could forgive me when I found my way home. It became obvious that the pack could sense a change in me when I came back to them.

Lara knew almost instantly and I told her everything. She was shocked at first, but then she was happy for me that I'd found someone I had this connection with.

Normal werewolves call it a 'mate bond', that intense passionate heat we both felt between us when we finally kissed for the first time.

I was hers, and she was mine, and not even and an army of vampires was going to stop me from getting back home to the woman I love.