Have No Fear

Regrets

Conan POV

What little I own is packed up easily. I always like to travel light, but it's a truly sad existence when all your belongings can fit into one solitary backpack.

"I'm all set".

I don't regret coming back here for one second, but leaving home again felt even harder then it was 8 years ago, when I was a young stubborn asshole.

"Be safe out there".

"I will, mom. I'll call you when I get to Michigan".

Ren hasn't come downstairs at all yet, maybe it's for the best. I know she's awake up there, but I can imagine saying goodbye will be just as hard for her too.

"Tell Ren I said goodbye?"

"I will".

She will have definitely heard all that, and yet she still hasn't come down. Ren has already lost too many people she cares about, but she isn't losing me forever.

I'll be back soon enough for her birthday and that might be why she doesn't want to watch me leave today. I'm hoping that some time apart might unburden me of these feelings I have for her.

When she goes back to Idaho, she'll meet someone more her own age that'll be a better fit. Some lucky guy will give her all the love she deserves one day, but it can't be me.

There's only one person I can trust to know about Ren and that's Lara. Regardless of our previous relationship, we've always remained close friends and I trust her with my life.

I thought I loved Lara once, and at the time it did hurt that she didn't return those same feelings for me, but looking back now, it was probably best for both of us.

Lara told me that what we had was lust, not love, and now I'm starting to realise that she was right all along. I didn't feel half the things for her that I've felt for Ren in the short time we've known each other.

Ren is so kind and innocent, but she has a strength deep down inside of her that I'd never seen before. Being around her made me feel less ashamed of what I am.

On the occasions that I've come into contact with werewolves in the past, I've been labelled as a freak or a monster. Ren never made me feel that way, not once.

On the outside, I may give off this tough macho persona because of my size, but it does hurt deep down to not know your place or purpose in this world.

Maybe if I'd have grown up with a dad in my life, things might have been different for me. Ambrose made his choice a long time ago and I'm a product of his bad decisions.

The morning I woke up after my first shift, I'd never felt so alone when I realised he wasn't there anymore. I had so many questions, but nobody to answer them because he'd abandoned me all over again.

As I'm walking along the dirt road into town, I hear the sound of a vehicle coming from behind. When I turn around I see the familiar red car driving towards me.

Ren pulls up next to me and the passenger door swings open.

"Get in the car, little wolf".

"Nice to see you too, but what are you doing?"

"You can't walk all the way to the bus station from here, it'll take forever".

"And here was I thinking you didn't care?"

"Just shut up and get in the car".

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When I woke up that morning, I was tempted to go for a run and avoid the inevitable all together, but I couldn't even bring myself to get out of bed knowing he would be leaving soon.