Have No Fear

Movie

I hated how quickly Sunday was approaching. It's Saturday night now and as per tradition, me and Carol always watch a movie together with a takeout.

"It's just so sad" Carol cries near the end of the movie.

"I know".

We both love the romantic ones, but The Notebook makes us both cry every single time we see it. Conan, however fell asleep in the chair about halfway through and has been snoring ever since.

I'm pretty sure he was kind of pissed that we wouldn't watch Die Hard instead, but he didn't complain because his mom really wanted to watch this one.

"I'm going up to bed" she whispers and goes over to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead, not wanting to wake him up.

I miss that kind of thing about my own parents. If I ever fell asleep on the couch, I'd always wake up with covered with a blanket that they'd lovingly put over me so I didn't get cold.

After cleaning the dishes, I go back and sit down on the couch. Selfishly, I really want him to wake back up and spend more time with me before he goes.

I put on that he wanted to watch, hoping it might stir him a bit. The thing I never really got about this movie is the fact I never knew if it classed as a Christmas film or not?

Sure enough, he wakes up about 20 minutes in and comes over to sit on the couch next to me.

"This is my favourite movie".

"It was my dad's favourite too, and Jake Peralta's of course".

"You like Brooklyn 99?"

"Who doesn't? I always wanted to be like Rosa Diaz".

"She's pretty badass, but you are too, princess".

"I am?"

"You kick ass. I know a woman back in Michigan who would love to meet you".

Well that's just great. I should've guessed earlier that he's got a girlfriend there that he was desperate to get back to.

"That's nice".

I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I am not jealous. Oh who am I even kidding?

"Do you want some more popcorn?" he asks.

"Sure".

Why is this happening to me? It's just my shitty luck that I would meet a guy who I didn't stand a chance with at all.

Even if he didn't already have someone back in Michigan, and something had happened between us, it would never last anyway. It can't when our lives are in separate states.

I'm being ridiculous. He was right before when he said I don't know about love and relationships yet. This is just a crush that I'll have to swallow down like a big pill.

"Here" he hands me the bowl of popcorn when he comes back.

"Thanks".

Weirdly, after he sits back down, he reaches forward and grabs both my calves, pulling them up so my legs are now resting across his lap.

"That's better" he smiles.

Talk about mixed signals, right?

"So tell me about this woman back in Michigan? Is she hot?"

Why would I even ask that? I'm being so obvious it's embarrassing.

"Lara's my ex. The one I told you about?"

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little happy to hear that he isn't seeing anybody after all. I even have to bite my inner lip to stop myself from smiling.

Still, he did tell me he was in love with her once and she didn't love him back. What if he hasn't really gotten over it and he's still in love with her?

"That doesn't answer my question, little wolf".

"Yeah, she's hot, I guess?"

"You really have to guess?"

"Awww! Is Ren jealous?" he jokes teasingly, but he just called me out.

"Shut up and watch the movie" I roll my eyes and throw a piece of popcorn at his head.

"That doesn't answer my question, princess" his tone seems to change.

He seems less playful and more serious. I can't tell him that I have a crush on him when he still sees me as a kid. It would ruin the friendship we'd built.

"Not every woman sees a muscular man with tattoos and automatically swoons".

"That's kinda funny".

"How so?"

"Because your heart beats pretty fast every time I take off my shirt. It was beating even harder when we were naked in that cave together".

Think of something fast.

"I was scared and in a lot of pain, that's all".

"If you say so" he smiles devilishly.

I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole right this very second!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conan POV

What the hell is wrong with me? I can't keep doing this, I can't have feelings for this woman. The longer I've stayed here has made it even more difficult for me to leave.

I had no choice. She's a werewolf and if the others find out about her I'll be up shit creek without a paddle. It will be the exact same for her when she goes home too.

No matter how many times I'd lied to myself about it, I couldn't deny the deep intense attraction I've had for her since the moment I first laid eyes on her like this.

I could've easily stayed at a motel back in town while mom was gone, but I was stupidly curious as to how this beautiful woman came into my mom's life. I'm really happy that she did.

My only regret about my time here with her is that I've kept her at arms for most of it, and now it's too late to change any of that. I could've been nicer.

I especially shouldn't have taken my personal shit out on her after I spoke to Ambrose that day, not after everything she went through the night before.

She saved my life that night, and could've easily gotten herself killed doing it. Maybe there is something to this whole 'White Wolf' thing she told me about?

There's other hybrids out there that might know, but just asking is a massive risk. Hybrids stay hidden for a reason, and that's to keep us safe from those that want to use or kill us.

If I start asking too many questions to the wrong people, they could start getting suspicious, and that could lead them straight back here to her.

I've wanted to kiss her so many times that I've lost count, but she's been through so much for someone that young. She deserves someone far better than me.

My life is too complicated and dangerous right now to even think about getting into a relationship, and it probably always will be.

I've made a lot of dangerous enemies on my travels in the past and I won't drag her or my mom into that. That's why I've kept my distance all these years.

"Goodnight, Conan" she goes up to bed when the movie ends.

"Goodnight, princess".

Tomorrow is going to hurt like a son of a bitch, but I'm needed back in Michigan. I should march upstairs after her right now and tell her everything, yet I just can't bring myself to do it.