Have No Fear

Memories

"So now you're telling me that witches are real too!?" I ask in utter disbelief.

I feel like I've gone mad. My entire life, I've been raised to know that werewolves were real, but now I know vampires and witches aren't just in books and movies.

"They're as real as you or me".

I lay down on the couch while he sits over in the chair, almost like he's giving me a free therapy session.

"Wow. This is a serious mind fuck".

"You didn't really think we were the only mythical beings in existence, did you?"

"Yeah, kind of? I didn't expect that I was gonna wake up one day and have real life be like an episode of Vampire Diaries".

"Do you need me to make you some more hot chocolate?" he jokes to ease the tension because he knows I'm freaking out.

I place a cushion over my face.

"Yes, please" I say with my voice muffled through the cushion.

He's only gone for a couple of minutes, but I feel suddenly claustrophobic and he finds me getting undressed when he comes back, nearly spilling the drink.

"What are you doing?" he looks away.

"I need to go for a run, otherwise I'm gonna end up going crazy stuck in here".

"But it's pouring out there?"

"Is the big bad wolf scared of a little water?" I tease him before running out of the front door completely naked and quickly shifting.

This sweet release of freedom crashes through my body the second I shift and run off into the nearby forest to let off some steam.

I felt every single individual raindrop caress my white fur as time seemed to slow down. There was no better feeling then this, and after days of not shifting I could appreciate it more.

"Ren, wait!"

"What's wrong? Can't you keep up, little wolf?"

"Little wolf am I?"

He bounds past me with ease. Of course a wolf his size would do that just to prove a point.

"Come on, princess!"

For the first time in days, I felt like myself, almost like the old me before my life went to shit. Having Conan here seems to have actually helped me somehow.

As much as I could dislike him at times, he's probably the most honest person I know, even if sometimes the truth from him cuts deeper than a knife.

How could he possibly want to give all this up and just be a normal human?

"You seem happier?" he notices.

"I feel happier".

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead".

"What's your last happy memory of your parents?"

It's an oddly surreal moment when he asks me that question.

I'd only just realised that for the past few years, that whenever I thought about them, it was solely of the night they died. It's like there's no before anymore because my mind always took me to that moment.

I have to really hard about it at first, but then something pops into my brain, like it's been there there the whole time and safely tucked away with a bow on it like a beautiful gift.

"On my 18th birthday we went out in my car together, just driving around town and singing along to one of my dad's favourite albums".

"Which one?"

"It was a Nickelback album, I think?"

Suddenly, I can hear them both in my head, singing embarrassingly loud with me behind the wheel, trying not to laugh at how goofy they always were.

We were so happy. That's when I think to myself that I would've rather had them for the first 18 years of my life and lost them, then to have never had them in it at all.

"What were they like?"

"They were everything. It might sound ridiculous, but they really were the perfect parents".

Talking about them like this opened up the gates, and all these old memories started flooding back to me, but it was a good thing. Having them back felt pretty amazing.

I stopped thinking of all the things that never got to happen, and began to appreciate all the things that did, no matter how small and insignificant they seemed at the time.

We made so many happy memories together in the time we had.

"What was it like, growing up out here with just your mom?" I ask curiously.

"We were happy. In all honesty, things got really bitter between us for a while after Ambrose came here".

"Bitter, how?"

"I was angry that she never told me about him, or about what I was. She said she didn't want to risk me going off and looking for him".

"You might not think it, but she was protecting you and so was he. He's not a bad guy, you know?".

"I don't blame her. I did for a long time, but not anymore. Ambrose, well he had no right to come into my life like that if he wasn't going to stick around".

"I've seen the way him and your mom are around each other. Something tells me that if he could go back in time right now, he would make a different choice".

"You're just a kid. You don't know anything about love or relationships yet".

"They look at each other like my parents did. I might not have ever been in love with anyone yet, but I do know that look".

"Oh, I know all about the look".

Interesting?

"Have you ever been in love?"

"I'm better off alone".

"That's not what I asked".

"I was once, but that was years ago".

I'm gradually picking away at that hard surface he has and the more I find out about him, the more vulnerable he seems.

"So what happened?"

"She didn't feel the same".

That must really hurt, to give your heart to someone only to be rejected. It sounds like it sucks sometimes, but maybe one day when I'm good and ready, I'll get to find out what that kind of love feels like for myself.