Life Under the Hood

Chapter 27

Kody's POV

"Kody, baby, we're going to be late." Dick says as he knocks on the door.

I shift my attention from my stomach, rub the water from my eyes, and look to Dick while nodding.

"Coming." I say just loud enough to be heard over the drone of the shower.

Through the glass and haze of water, I see Dick nod then retreat from the bathroom.

I lower my head again and run a soapy wash cloth over my stomach. It's still early. Physically, I look no different. But emotionally, I'm far from the person I was a few weeks ago. The person I spent six years learning to be.

I step out of the shower, rubbing my towel up and down my arms before wrapping it around myself and heading for the bedroom.

Dick gives a small smile as I walk past him into the closet. I hear his footsteps soon after I enter, and his arm wraps tightly around me as I rummage through a wardrobe.

He presses a gentle kiss to the back of my head, watching over me as I find my outfit for the day.

I can feel his stare, weighted yet gentle, fixed yet distant. Dick is hardly the same person he was a few weeks ago. With Barbara being shot, then the news of her paralysis, followed by the beginning of her medications and therapies, Dick's taken every hit, suffered each heartbreak with her. All of them forcing him to watch me closer, never let me get further than a few feet away. He's more insecure than he's been since he was a child.

Dick releases me long enough to let me change, and then I'm right back in his grasp as he leads me out the door towards the garage.

The ride is silent. Neither of us talks. I miss that. The idle chit chat that used to dominate our car rides when we were dating...when we were free. Before marriage and babies, when walking away felt like an option we would never take and hurting each other was something we nearly killed ourselves trying not to do. Now, I feel like we walk away in some sense almost everyday, hurting one another more than we dare realize.

"What do you think it is?" I bite my lip in questioning.

"Huh?" Dick responds. He wasn't paying attention.

"The baby. What do you think it is?" I ask again.

"Oh...um, I don't care just as long as they're healthy." He responds with a shrug.

"That's not what I asked." I retort.

"Does it matter what I want?" He huffs, irritation making its way into his voice and demeanor.

"Do you want a baby?" I snap. My mouth moving faster than my mind.

Instantly, I want to take it back, apologize to Dick for doubting something he's been so confident in for many years, but I notice his inability to answer. He gapes a couple times before releasing a breath through his nose and shaking his head. He focuses back on the road, tuning me out.

I should be angry, furious. I don't want a baby. I never have. I told him that countless times, halted all conversation pertaining to children, gave him multiple outs if children were going to be a dealbreaker in our relationship, yet here I am pregnant and terrified just so that I can bring him some joy, repay him for everything he's done. And now he doesn't even know if he wants to be a father anymore.

But for every ounce of angry I should be feeling, I instead feel heart ache. For Dick and for me. Dick certainly isn't the same man he was a few weeks ago. I'm not even sure he's the same man I fell in love with.

—————Time Skip—————

"And what about morning sickness? Hm, any of that?" Dr. Leslie walks from one end of the room to the other while asking me questions on my health.