On Track | MINSUNG

12

It had been five days since their conversation, and it was always at the back of Minho's mind. He would never force Jisung into anything, but he felt like they were going to have sex sooner rather than later, and Minho wanted to be prepared. He'd bought condoms and kept a few everywhere he could think of: his bedside cabinet, his backpack, his wallet, every jacket with a zipped pocket. He'd bought several bottles of lube, one for his bedroom and one for his backpack.

He'd read every article the Internet could give him about having sex for the first time in a new relationship--which, once again, brought about the question: were they even in a relationship? Minho supposed they had to be, considering they definitely weren't friends, nor fuck buddies or friends with benefits and if they weren't in a relationship, what else could they possibly be?

Minho planned on getting Chan alone at lunch, to ask for advice. He wanted to talk to Hyunjin, too, if he could, since Minho was almost certain he and Jeongin had fucked. But when he sat down at the lunch table, neither Chan or Hyunjin were there.

'Where's Chan?' Minho asked.

'Toilet,' Felix said through a mouthful of food.

'And Hyunjin?' Jeongin wasn't here either, so Minho reckoned they were together.

'Probably fucking Jeongin somewhere,' Changbin said. 'They've been all over each other today.'

'Wish that were me,' Jongho mumbled.

'You need a boyfriend first,' Seungmin told him, stealing a bite of his food.

Jongho looked over to a table by the wall, where Mingi, San, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were sat. 'I can't if he doesn't even notice me.'

'At least he knows you exist,' Felix said. 'Better than your crush last year.'

'This isn't a crush,' Jongho insisted. 'It feels different.'

'How?' Seungmin asked, stealing more food while Jongho wasn't looking.

'I don't know, it just...does. Like, it's not like the giggly, blushing crushes you get as kids, it's more like--it's more mature. It's getting happy when he shares stuff with you, smiling when he texts you, getting upset when he is. I listen to a song and wonder if he's heard it too. I want him to kiss me. When I walk through the park on my way home, I wonder what it would be like if Mingi walked with me. I see him hug San and I'm jealous, because I want him to hug me. Like, I'm not out here saying I'm jealous of San, because, like, San's in love with someone else.' Jongho paused, gulping down some juice.

'But when Mingi tells me about all the drama and shit going on,' Jongho continued, 'it just feels really comfortable being around him. It feels normal. I feel like we've known each other for years, but then something stupid will happen, like he'll mention he has to get home by a certain time, and I'll just realise how much I don't know about him. Did you know he has a half nine curfew? I found that out on Saturday.'

Jongho slumped into the table, his head on his arms. 'I want to get to know him, in every single way. I just. It's more than just a stupid crush, and it fucking sucks.'

'I know what you mean,' Seungmin said quietly. 'Crushes are childish things kids have when they're not not fully aware of their feelings yet. This isn't, because you're aware of your feelings and shit, and like, I don't know. It feels like everyone else is just having relationships and falling in love and we're just left behind.'

'Hey,' Chan said, sitting down. 'Why do you all look super heartbroken?'

'Because they're single and lonely,' Changbin told him.

'So are you!' Jongho exclaimed.

'Can I talk to you later?' Minho asked Chan.

Chan gave him a look. 'About the talk?'