I never fully explained what happened to my books awhile ago and I thought I should because I feel like I should.
I don't know if any of you guys pay attention to my account normally but if any of you remember a little while back, my account had went blank. All my books disappeared, my account went black, my list were gone and everything. I worried you guys on my message board by saying bye and all that.
The reason I did that was because that day, when I did almost delete my whole account, someone on tiktok had made a video about me. They exposed my main account (this one) and my bts account (@/nightmareenemies )
They called me out for "fetishizing" gay men.
I never felt my heart drop so hard when I seen that video.
Well, as a normal person would, I messaged them with an apology and how my intentions were never meant to harm anyone. It took a few hours of us talking before they took the video down. They even said sorry for what they had done. They said they never meant for me to delete my account or take my books down.
I thought everything was over and I was willing to move on.
Till the next day and they messaged me saying they WEREN'T sorry and they posted another video about me.
I swear, my anxiety had been wracked so far through those two days that I felt like I was on the verge of collapsing.
We had another conversation and they took down the video again with them saying, "they were just trying to educate me."
There is better ways to educate someone then humiliate them and target them.
That's another thing they said. I asked them why they were targeting me. They said they weren't but I had to explain to them that they were. There is millions of other writers out there who do way worse damage then me but they decided to pick out MY account out of those millions and make videos about me.
As of today, most of the videos are down and they have blocked me on all three of my tiktok accounts (which is funny because they said I blocked them first when I know they did) There is only one video up still (my friends helped check for me) of them saying that I was playing "victim" when I clearly wasn't and victims don't say sorry about ten hundred times plus admit their wrong doing.
My account is supposed to be a safe space for all. I want any and everyone to feel safe here and never feel like I'm causing them harm.
That is why I no longer write smut and any of my smut chapters are no longer available in any of my books.
I decided to just no longer write it. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable because of what I write.
So going further in my writing, I hope you guys understand maybe why I'm a little more anxious with updating my works. I just don't want anything else to happen and me feel like the only option is to get rid of my books that I worked so hard on.
That's how much paranoia I took away from that situation.
Not to mention, I don't know who they are on wattpad so I'm always afraid they are still watching to see me slip up and make another video about me.
I hope that you guys understand my decisions and still continue to like my work. I appreciate every vote and comment I receive. You guys make continuing forward seem like a good thing.
New chapter will hopefully be out soon.
Peace. xx
