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Chapter Fifteen: Poison

Los Angeles, California
December 25th
Onika T. Maraj:

I watched as all my siblings opened up the gifts that I'd brought for them. I was so happy to see them happy, nothing else mattered to me. I hadn't touched my phone since I got here. My mom made it a point for us all to have so much fun and so much conversation that our phones weren't even a priority.

All of my siblings—no matter whose side—were here. I was surprised to see that my brother and sister on my father's side remembered me, but they did, and they were anticipating my arrival.

Ming stayed with my mom and she had been waiting for me to come home and see her for years. I wanted to apologize to her, promise her that I would come around more. Whenever I'm able to get her alone, we could have a heart to heart.

I sat up on the island beside my mom, listening to my family talk my ear off. When I tuned in, they were talking about Giovanni, asking me why he hadn't come with me.

"You know we love to see that gorgeous ass man. Where is he?"

"His ass is at home, whining like a baby."

"Why didn't he come?"

"I didn't want him to keep traveling over and over and he didn't either. It's okay."

The truth was, it was really okay because I didn't even want to speak to him, let alone spend time until New Years with him. He could kiss my ass right now. He wanted to sit around and 'confront' me with nothing, but I knew for a fact he was cheating on me.

We didn't like each other right now so I needed him to stay away from me. If we stayed around each other for too much longer, we'd be at each other's necks and I would end up running my mouth in a fit of anger.

"That boy could've come to see us."

"Mama," I rolled my eyes. She always liked him too much because he was a kiss up and would do anything she asked.

"If you're making that man mad in any way, fix it. You know he can't stay mad at you."

The only thing I didn't like about my mother. When it came down to men—or my man—she would make sure I went to the ends of the earth to make him happy, to stroke his ego. I wasn't doing that shit. If he couldn't do it for himself, there's no way I can do it for him. A grown man, looking for a woman to stroke his ego and make him feel good. Please. I'd be damned if I burdened myself more than I needed to just to make a man's life a little bit easier.

He could stay mad all he wanted, I didn't care. I wanted the storm to clear so that I could finally get back on track. Being so addicted to Beyoncé while loving my husband in the same breath was never in the plan, but I couldn't stay away from her.

"Girl what if she's mad at him?" Ming asked my mom, putting her hand on her hip.

"That explains why he's not here."

Everybody was staring at me, wanting me to clear up the rumors my mama had spread. I just rolled my eyes.

"Worry about y'all selves."

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