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Chapter Six: Can't Help It, I Want You

Manhattan, New York
September 4th
Beyoncé G. Knowles:

Solange knew that there was something I needed to tell her, but we sat and let Brielle run off at the mouth without any interruptions. I was watching Mrs. Maraj and her husband at the other end of the restaurant.

She wouldn't even look this way, but I know she felt me staring. I wanted to know every curve of that body. After what just happened, I knew I wasn't going to be able to let it go. The next time I saw her outside of school, I was gonna fuck her. There's no denying it now.

"I'll be back, I have to use the ladies' room," Brielle excused herself finally. As soon as the door closed, Solange was eyeing me.

"Tell me what happened."

"How you know something happened?"

"I'd be a dummy to think nothing happened after you followed her into the bathroom and somehow the door's locked for 10 minutes. Talk, with speed."

"I went in there and she told me to lock the door so I did. She kissed me and I mean it was hot in there. I got as far as feeling her—"

"Okay."

"She left me high and dry obviously. She said 'keep wanting' whatever the fuck that means."

I wanted to bend her over that table she was at and fuck her right in front of her husband. I wanted her to cry for me and there'd be nothing he could do about it.

I didn't usually feel like this because this wasn't even the kind of person I was, but her husband was smart-mouthed with nothing to back it up. She wasn't feeling him the way he was feeling her. She might love him, but that sexual fire is gone. It belonged to me now.

"You have to break up with Brielle tonight. This is moving too fast."

"I know," I agreed.

I didn't wanna break Brielle. Especially since she came here for me, to see me, to love me. But it had to be done. I also didn't wanna hurt her, and if I keep her and tell her I've been cheating on her, it'd hurt her so I knew what had to be done.

When Brielle came back, she had tears in her eyes. She didn't even sit down. She stood over me and took my face in her hands.

"I don't know who she is, but thank you for breaking up with me before you did anything to hurt me. I appreciate you, and happy birthday again," She gathered her things and started to leave.

I was stunned. She had to have heard us talking.

A part of me broke, but the part of me that was grateful stitched me right back together. The less hurt I had to give to her, the better. I would text her tonight to see if she was alright, but I didn't have to worry about hurting her anymore.

"She beat you to it."

Manhattan, New York
September 4th
Onika T. Maraj:

"Babe, you listening?" Giovanni waved his hand around in my face to get my attention.

I looked at him and nodded with a tight smile, but my mind was elsewhere. I didn't know if I felt bad about what was transpiring between Beyoncé and I or not.

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