The Gray Dancer

43. LIFE

DAYS SOON FADED AWAY INTO WEEKS. It seemed as if everyone had been able to resume living their life, moving on to start a new chapter. It appeared that people had slowly begun to continue with their lives, doing things as they usually would.

But for Hanna, it still stung just as badly as before. Her heart continued to ache, the cracks in her heart unable to heal. Her life still had no color to it, no adventure. She did nothing special in her days, now finally making it a point to go to work. After taking an absence for two weeks, Hanna had no choice but to return.

Hanna sighed, thinking of the days that now seemed long forgotten. She had no choice but to keep living her life, even if she didn't want to. She had no choice but to pretend that she was fine, just like how she had been doing before meeting Derrick.

Hanna didn't want to live in this nightmare any longer, moving forward to do things she didn't want to do. Hanna didn't have it in her to go to work and complete tasks required by others. She only wanted to time travel to the past, relive moments with Derrick and redo everything that had happened.

Hanna didn't want to talk to people in her office, wanting to keep to herself. She didn't want to live her life without Derrick. Hanna had no choice but to keep her emotions concealed. She couldn't smile, nor could she cry. It became even more challenging for her to keep her mask up—the very same mask Hanna had thrown away when she spent time with Derrick.

Without him, the need to hide her emotions resurfaced. It seemed as if no one was there to listen to her grieving and her crying.

And once again, Hanna knew she had become lonely.

Her life returned to the disaster it was before meeting Derrick. It simply seemed as if nothing mattered anymore. The puzzle of her life that she had begun to piece together fell apart without him. She couldn't find meaning anymore in the cruel world she called home.

Hanna pressed her fingers across her forehead, her head falling with a sigh.

Hanna didn't want to leave the comfort of her sofa. She didn't notice the minutes pass by as she stayed on the couch, letting it act as a hug. Even though it didn't do much for her, at least it seemed like she could rely on something.

But no matter how long she'd stay rooted to the couch, it wouldn't give her the comfort Derrick did. The couch wouldn't speak to her, saying things with a smile, making sure that Hanna wouldn't lose her grin no matter what.

The couch just sat there, no expression, no smile.

Time ticked by, her life moving on as slow as ever as she engrossed herself into her thoughts, letting them snicker and giggle at her just like before. It didn't matter to Hanna anymore. Even after all this time, her thoughts had only been right.

The voice inside her only spoke the truth.

Hanna knew Derrick would leave her, but she still kept hope that he wouldn't, only to have her dreams crushed in the end.

It wasn't until her phone screamed did Hanna forget her nightmare for a bit.

Her head snapped to her phone, staring at the lit screen. It hadn't rung in a while. Hanna hadn't heard the loud but soft melody of her cellphone in ages, almost the last time being Roy's call. She didn't want to remember that day at all.

As her phone blared, shrieking, again and again, Hanna's gaze finally fell across the contact name displayed across her phone. Hanna took a look at the name on the phone, her eyebrows furrowing as she read a contact name she didn't expect.

Hanna swiped her finger across her phone, bringing it to her ear.

"Hanna?"

"Roy..." Hanna froze, her lips parting as she recognized the voice.