The Gray Dancer

05. DANDELIONS

A FEW DAYS HAD PASSED SINCE THE ENCOUNTER WITH DERRICK. Most of the events of the day had faded away, buried deep in her memory. Due to the nature of her life, her happy thoughts slipped away behind the grueling ones, never to surface again.

Hanna stared out her window, observing as dawn blended to dusk. She watched as life moved on without her, letting a heavy sigh leave her lips. All she desperately wanted was for life to be fair to her.

Despite the memory of Derrick having dimmed, Hanna couldn't get the words he had told her out of her head. She couldn't forget what he had said. Those words were the ones Hanna needed to hear. Somehow, he just knew what Hanna needed to hear.

He had gifted her kindness she didn't often receive.

Only Jackson had ever treated her the same way as Derrick did. Jackson had always treated Hanna with so much love, kindness, and gratitude. It made Hanna feel important, a feeling so foreign to her. She hadn't felt that way in ages.

"Oh, Hanna, you aren't worthy of kindness."A snicker escaped into the quiet apartment, "Did you think he actually cared? Do you think Jackson cares?

Hanna didn't need to be told anything more to know that the words spoken were right. The happy thoughts that had once flooded her mind vanished with the voice's cruel words. They would all leave her at one point, wouldn't they? Even Jackson left her. Who could love Hanna's, broken heart? How could someone love the failure she was?

Hanna's wounds may have healed over time, but they still left behind a nasty scar—a reminder of who she was.

Hanna shook her head. No matter how much she tried, the thoughts of her being a failure surfaced once more, constantly reminding her of who she was. She couldn't do this any longer.

Hanna stared at her laptop for ages, hoping that maybe her work would complete itself, but it never happened. No matter how much she stared at her computer, her work remained untouched. She desperately needed to finish all her tasks before she could be pegged as a failure once again.

Hanna slammed her laptop shut. With the sheer amount of force she used, she was shocked it didn't break.

Hanna needed a refresher. She needed to clear her mind with the sounds of nature.

Hanna set her laptop aside, running a hand through her raven locks. She picked up her keys and phone just beside her and stuffed them into her coat pocket. Hanna ran out of her apartment without sparing a glance at the disaster inside.

Hanna walked to the nearby park. Its emptiness always brought her solace; there was never anyone there. Every time Hanna went there, she was reminded of her broken self. It was just like her empty heart in some way, longing for love.

Hanna loved the emptiness. It gave the park such a serene calmness with nature sounds and not a soul in sight.

Hanna's eyes caught her regular bench, the tattered wood frame that sat below the fall-struck tree. The leaves had changed colors, contrasting the evergreen in a collage of reds and oranges. They tumbled from the branches with each passing gust in a multicolor rain, blazing amidst the sky until they hit the bench with a small tap.

Today, her bench didn't sit empty. Sitting right under the tree was a brown-haired man with his nose in a book. Every so often, he would push his rounded spectacles back up as they fell. His appearance was pretty simple, the only outward thing being the crimson leaf stuck in his hair.

Hanna let out a quiet groan, having wanted to sit in solace. She trudged through the quiet park until she found herself at her bench once again. She took the far left edge, turning her head to the side. She avoided eye contact with the man beside her. Instead, Hanna stared at the falling leaves, losing track of time.