The Gray Dancer

31. CONFIDENCE

HANNA COULDN'T SLEEP MUCH, NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIED. She couldn't determine if it was because of the night before or the slight excitement for the competition today. Maybe it was a mix of both? Hanna had managed just enough sleep to function well enough today. She knew a bit more sleep would help her perform better, but she simply couldn't close her eyes.

Hanna just couldn't stop thinking about the night before. It wasn't that anything had gone wrong. Simply, Hanna couldn't figure out why Derrick had only ever been kind to her. She simply couldn't understand how he could never hate her. She couldn't put her mind to why he always smiled with her either. Didn't Hanna just bore everyone? Something about Derrick made Hanna feel things she couldn't admit she felt.

Derrick had a way of making Hanna stay happy. He had a way with words, comforting everyone around him whenever he spoke. She didn't realize the time tick by as she thought of him.

Hanna found herself replaying her memories, again and again, listening to his words from last night. His words hurt just as badly today, even though Hanna knew that he didn't say anything bad at all.

Hanna shook her head, pulling her bed covers over her. She tried to hide underneath her yellow velvet covers to suppress her thoughts, but it did almost nothing. Her thoughts and memories of the days before today would only resurface every time she tried harder to hide the memories.

Hanna squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get a bit more sleep in. By now, the stars had stopped twinkling, the moon starting to fade, ready to be replaced by the sun. Despite closing her eyes, hoping to fall into dreamland, nothing happened. Her body wouldn't let her sleep any longer.

Hanna's mind buzzed with the different ideas and possibilities of today, the good and the bad ones. She only hoped nothing would go wrong today and that everything would go as they planned.

Hanna's nose crinkled with a slight frown as she laid in bed. She simply wanted to jump out of bed and get ready even though the sun had just begun to rise. Light blue had begun to wash over the indigo skies with the sunrise. Hanna had no choice but to continue to wait in her bed until the sun rays were bright enough to peek through her windows.

Hanna jumped from her bed, hearing it creak as she left the mattress. She sprung from her bed, nearly running through her home. Hanna didn't have as much time as she thought, and she didn't want to be the one that made them both late today.

Hanna hurried into her kitchen to eat a light breakfast before making lunch. She knew she could only eat during the car ride because they had to be out of her apartment by twelve. Hanna didn't have many options in her kitchen. She scoured through all the ingredients she had, settling on a ham sandwich once she realized there was absolutely nothing in her kitchen.

Hanna knew she had to do the groceries, but something in her wouldn't give her the energy to do so. In between all the dance practices, Hanna just didn't have it in her to get groceries.

No matter how much time she spent in her tiny kitchen, she couldn't find anything except ingredients for a simple ham sandwich. Hanna had no other choice but to make a few. At least making a sandwich was more than simple. Two slices of bread, a slice of ham, and some veggies. Hanna had more than enough ingredients to make sandwiches for Derrick too.

It didn't take her too long to make a couple sandwiches and pack them into a small Ziploc container for later. Even if they didn't eat it for lunch, one of them would most definitely get hungry at some point in the day. Hanna could confidently say none of the sandwiches would go to waste.

As soon as Hanna finished with the sandwiches, she headed into her bedroom to get everything together for today. Hanna found the outfit she had stored within no time. She found the one both of them coordinated together and had placed it on her bed. Hanna didn't have much else to do besides wear her outfit and fix her hair and make-up. It couldn't take that much time.