Ab"sin"the

tHaTs NoT hOw I'm WiReD

I don't think it's inferiority complex
I guess maybe this was how I was born
People always say put yourself first
But I didn't even make it to second on all my lists

I'm clingy
Some people call it desperate
Some call it annoying
Sometimes it's termed as stupidity

I don't know what pride feels like
My mother says I have a heart of gold
And I wish I could sell it
Cause it keeps causing me pain

Maybe this isn't a case of humility
Maybe I'm just foolish
Maybe I lack self worth
And I'm hungry for a whole lot more

I always wished I could die on behalf of people
I hate the fact that I'm living
While other people die
I hate living with the pain

I keep being there for the people
Who were never there for me
I be giving love
To who feeds me with heartache

I see the kids on the streets
And I wish they could take my place
I know it sounds absurd
But that's who I am

I always wanted to be proud
Even if I hate proud people
Maybe even selfish
I'm too selfless for my own liking

I tried a million times
To not give a damn
But I still kept giving two fucks
About how I made people feel

I'm no savage
I'm too emotional for that
I'd hate to make anybody sad
And it's a huge disadvantage

I'm not Jesus
I can't die for the sins of everyone
But I'm Ehime
Everybody else comes first
And I don't know where to put myself

If only I wasn't like this
Then maybe I'd have avoided a lot of heartbreak
But I guess that's not how I'm wired

I'm literally on my knees guys. Please comment and vote, recommend to your friends on Wattpad too. I'm getting discouraged, I feel like nobody is appreciating my hard work.
Much love,
Girlie_yo.

And yeah, Ehime is my name.