Heartbreaker ~ Larry Stylinson {English}

75. Control.

Song for this chapter:

Chase Atlantic - Friends (Play the song when you see '*')

~ Pov Louis ~ 

"Liam! Niall!" I wave my hand in the air excitedly when I see them standing a few feet away. With my suitcase rolling behind me, I hop over to them. 

"Louis! Are you up for it?" I nod with a smile. 

"I can't believe we're finally going to Paris! And in the winter, it must be so beautiful over there. We've waited so long for this!"

I look behind me in the dark when one of our teachers asks for our attention. It's now about one o'clock in the morning. "Dear students, the moment has finally arrived... We're going to Paris!" All the students cheer, including myself. "In order to leave as smoothly as possible, we kindly ask you to put all your bags at the bus and to step on the bus calmly one by one, I repeat again, calmly."As if our lives depended on it, the three of us sprint to the vehicle, quickly drop our bags on the floor and run up the steps of the bus. Once in the bus we quickly walk to a few places at the back, because that's the place where everyone wants to sit. Liam and Niall huddle together in a chair as agreed while I sit down in front of them. Immediately I turn my head to them and I make a small scream. "I'm so freaking excited!" Liam takes out his travel pillow and puts it around his neck. 

"Believe me, I can't wait to get there either, but I'm going to sleep on the bus. It's one in the morning, I'm tired as hell."

I look at Niall with an irritated look as Liam closes his eyes. "Don't tell me you're going to do that too." He shrugs. 

"I'm sorry Louis, but for once I'm following Liam's boring lead." 

"Hey," Liam complains, eyes closed. Niall smiles and shakes his head and looks at me. 

"I think everyone would like to sleep. It will be a while until we get there and when we get to Paris we'll be out all day. So you're supposed to sleep on the bus." I look around and see everyone wrapping themselves in a blanket. Some lie with their heads on the shoulder of the person next to them while others rest against the window with a pillow in between.

"I don't understand how everyone can sleep. I have so much energy!" Niall smiles with his eyes closed. 

"Try to sleep anyway or there will be little energy left tomorrow, when you'll really need it." With a small sigh I turn around and stare out the window. The bus driver starts the engine and everyone starts cheering when we leave the school parking lot.

Some still talk for a few minutes or sit on their mobiles for half an hour, but after an hour I'm completely surrounded by dead silence and darkness. Around me I hear the quiet breathing of each student, sometimes a little snort, someone who wakes up for a moment, but after a few seconds falls back into a deep sleep. And steps. I hear light steps in the aisle of the bus. I look up strangely and after a few seconds see a tall person standing next to me. I only see a silhouette. It's only when the person sits down next to me that the moonlight shines down on him and I can clearly see who's still awake.

*

"Harry," I whisper so as not to disturb anyone's sleep. "What are you still doing up?" He raises his eyebrows. 

"I could ask you the same." I shrug and look back out of the window. 

"Too much energy. And nerves." 

"Ah." 

"You?" 

"Same. Kind off. I just couldn't sleep." I nod as a sign that I've heard him. "Watching the stars?" I chuckle a little. 

"Shouldn't you go back to Zayn? Or whoever you sat next to." 

"Zayn's sitting next to Mel. I'm sitting alone. So nobody misses me. Besides, we're the only ones still awake."

I keep staring at the dark sky. "Do you want me to go away?" I immediately look at him. The moonlight caresses his skin. I bite my lower lip. Say yes. Yes. Yes! 

"No..." A small smile rests on his lips. I quickly give him one back before I look away again. But when an important question comes to mind, I'm forced to look him in the eye. "How is your mother? I haven't heard you talk about her in a long time." Harry fixes his gaze on his feet, which tap uncomfortably on the floor. I shake my head. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." 

"No, it's okay. It's just- I didn't think you wanted to talk to me about that."

I frown and bend my body forward a bit to try to catch his eye, but he continues to dodge it. "Of course I want to talk to you about that. You can talk to me about anything." His head tilts my way and his eyes stare at me intently. 

"Then why don't we? Talk." I shake my head slightly. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Louis, a few months ago we didn't mince words because you wanted to. You didn't even want to see me or have me near you. What has changed so much that this is now suddenly possible?" My feelings...

I sigh as I run my hands over my face. "I- I don't know, Harry. You can't compare now to the beginning of the year." 

"Why not? What distinguishes those two periods? Because if I look at it, we are still where we were then." 

"That is not true." 

"Then tell me what has changed so much." 

"I. You. We. People around us. Events. So much has changed. A few months ago everything had just happened. I hadn't even processed it. A few months ago I was addicted and didn't even realize what I was doing. A few months ago I didn't need your support as much as I need it now. A few months ago-" 

"A few months ago you still wanted to kiss me?," he interrupts.

I look at him. My lips slightly apart. "What?" 

"When I finally left you alone, your addiction started to get worse and you were the one who wouldn't let go of me. Do you remember that particular night when we almost went too far?" I nod. 

"Yes. You stopped it and left." I chuckle a little. "I think I hit you too." He smiles briefly, but it disappears in seconds. 

"Five days later you were at my door. You were drunk. Again. You said you needed me, you wanted me and you couldn't live without me. Do you remember what I told you then?" I think for a moment, but then nod slightly. 

"Yes. You told me that you wouldn't believe me until I came to you, without being drunk, without taking drugs and I had to get everything straight. Yes, I remember that. Why?"

"Because I'm still waiting. For you. I thought after you got out of that institution and stopped using, that you would come to me." 

"I didn't have everything sorted out yet. Still not." 

"What about that one night?" I know what he's talking about. That one night where we kissed. 

"Just for a moment. That kiss might have been the first moment I had everything under control. But then-" 

"Kjell." I nod.

"And all control was gone."

Harry looks at me sideways so that our faces are only inches apart. "Have you regained enough control yet?" I frown. 

"For what?" 

"This." 

He brings his hand to my face and slowly brings his closer to give me enough time to stop him, but I don't. I close my eyes and let my lips gently touch his. I let him kiss me and intertwine our fingers in his lap. His hand glides along my jawline as he deepens the kiss. And I allow it, surrender myself completely to his lips, which leave mine only after a few minutes.

"Yes, I think so."

----------------------------------------------------

Ahhhh they aren't even in Paris yet and this is already happening. You don't want to know what will happen there! I can't wait!

Don't forget to vote, always makes me happy to see how many people are still following this story after such a long time :)

Love y'all xx