Heartbreaker ~ Larry Stylinson {English}

28. It's okay.

~ Pov Harry ~

After school I kick my cigarette out on the floor and quickly warm my hands by hiding them in my coat.

"So..." I look at Zayn who's sitting next to me in the cold. "What's going on between you and Louis?" I frown for a moment.

"There is nothing going on between me and Louis."

"I didn't mean it like that." He gives me a strange look. "I was talking about the bet. How's it going? Has Louis noticed anything yet?" I look at the ground.

"He hasn't noticed anything yet."

"Good. How far have you guys taken it?" I shrug my shoulders.

"Is that important?" Zayn purses his lips.

"I don't know. I just think it's pretty easy and quick between the two of you."

"And what are you going to do about it? Are you going to try to make it harder again?," I hiss. He holds his hands in the air defensively.

"Calm down bro. I just shared my opinion."

"Well, keep your fucking opinion to yourself." He sighs deeply and takes another puff of his nearly burnt out cigarette.

"Harry..."

"What?"

"You know you can quit the bet at any time?" I look at him confused.

"Why would I want that?"

"Maybe because you don't think the same about him anymore compared to the beginning of the year." I shake my head, not understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"I see the video's, Harry. I see what you do, how you interact with each other. And how everything evolves."

"Dude, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that Louis is still your friend."

"What? No! Not at all. I'm pretending. None of it is real, Zayn. Everything I do, everything I say, is for the bet." He smiles at me briefly.

"What part exactly is not real? You pretending to be his friend? Or you pretending you're not his friend?" I bite my bottom lip in frustration.

"You're making shit up."

"I'm not so sure about that yet."

"But I am!"

I jump off the bench and want to get away from him, but Zayn stops me by jumping in front of me and grabbing my arm. "Harry-"

"What?," I scream into his face that is close by. My chest rises and falls violently. Small clouds leave my lips through my hurried breath. Adrenaline runs through my body and I stare into his eyes.

"I know I'm not always the nicest person, but you're my best friend. You know you can say anything to me, right? You know I'll listen to you. You know I'll support you. You know who I am. You know you can trust me. So why don't you just do that?" I clench my teeth and avoid his gaze. "It's okay to quit the bet. I'm not going to think of you as a loser." I chuckle, sarcasm in my voice.

"But Luke and Aidan will." He rolls his eyes.

"Since when do you care what other people think of you?"

"Since you taught me to be tough, not to be weak. I can't give up the bet, Zayn. Giving up is for weak people."

He presses his index finger against my chest. "Not doing the right thing, not standing up for yourself, that's weak." I jerk my arm out of his grip.

"And since when have you become so sensitive?"

"Since that bet went a step too far," he throws back in a harsh tone. But his gaze immediately softens. "Stop it. Please. It's not worth it."

"It was your fucking idea though!"

"Yes! And it was a bad idea! We should have stopped from the moment it started. It's all going too far. Have you thought about Louis yet?"

"Don't you dare say a word about Louis!"

"Have you ever thought about how broken he will be when he finds out?"

"He won't find out!"

"How can you be so sure? There are so many people who know about this."

"I'll personally make sure they keep their mouths shut."

"Why is it so hard to stop Harry? Why can't you quit? Tell me!"

"Because I don't want to!" I stare at the ground while sighing. "I can't... I..." Zayn nods and puts his hands on both of my shoulders. He looks at me intently.

"It's okay." I shake my head. "It's okay."

"N-No. It's not."

"It's okay, Harry!" I look at him. My vision is blurry. My lower lip is trembling.

"I can't stop. I can't tell him. I'm too deep into this. I'm way too deep in this shit and I can't fucking get out!" My voice is trembling. Tears cover my eyes. "I feel like I can't breathe! I'm suffocating, Zayn! I'm stuck! And I have no idea what to do." A tear rolls down my cheek and I want to wipe it away, but Zayn stops me.

"It's okay."

He presses my body roughly against his. His arms are tight around my body. I blow all my held breath into his neck. "You have to help me. Because I don't see a way out anymore."

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What do you think of Zayn?