Fate ✔

35

"Wow your face is getting more red. Are you sure you're fine?" Ilhan asked. I could see her face getting all worried up!

But I don't feel any pain in me. I think i'm fine. Or maybe not!

"Yeah i'm good," nevertheless I replied.

"I hope so." She said still observing my face. "Don't you think Zee has waited for long!" She said turning around trying to locate them, and I turned around as well just to see they weren't even in view. They were out of view. Where could they be at?! I wonder!

"Don't worry, I know she won't mind."

"So what are your hobbies Saif?"

"Saif?!!! Are you sure this ain't the first time you're calling my name?"

I knew this wasn't the first time she called my name. I was just trying to tease her. But I've realised something about her, she has a thing with not wanting to call my name. She hardly calls my name.

"Nah!"

"Alright if you said so!"

"I like watching news, watching few tv shows and I guess that's all. I don't get a lot of things I enjoy doing. Oh I love being in the garden section of my house."

"That's cool Saif!" She said happily and I wonder what made her so happy. Anyways I just smiled back at her.

"Saif I think we really gotta leave here. Let's go look them up. They've waited for long."

I groaned at that, I think we were having cool moments together. But what with her and calling my name a lot today?! whatever it could be, I really like it. Because I really really like how she calls my name. She pronounces it cutely!

"Anywas Ilhan I plan on telling dad about us tonight. Inshaa Allah. Wish me luck!"

I thought she'll smile, but she ended up ducking her head down and I could see sadness all over her face.

"Hey what's wrong?" I asked.

"Why do you love me Saif? I'm sorry but I don't think your dad will accept me."

"But you don't even know him!" I said completely ignoring her first question.

"But i'm sorry, i've heard alot about him... from you." She stammered the last part.

"I hope you've heard really nice things?!" I voiced out dejectedly, I looked at her face and I got my answer, "guess not!" I added.

That's when I started to ask myself as well, if really dad would consider her. But why not? She's the girl I love and she's the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's the girl I really love and wanna wife. Why wouldn't he accept her?

"Why wouldn't my dad accept you?" I finally voiced out.

"Answer me first, why do you love me?"

"Because some things are just meant to be as they are Ilhan. People don't even need reasons to love you, because you are amazing. It comes natural for me."

"But a lot of people say that these days."

"Well, I like your character, that's enough reason for me to like you, and just like I said before, I only want you to be there, notice you beside me, come back home from work to see you. I only want your well being. Infact I could say you don't even need to love me back, but I know that wouldn't be fair, as I would want you to be with someone you love!"

"Well, I love you." She said.

We literally froze for a while before she just sighed, "never thought I would be the first one to voice it out." I could sense some shock and furiousness from her voice. So as not to make her feel embarrassed I decided to talk.

"It happened by mistake. And I like it." I literally forced myself not to laugh at that. Her face expression was to die for.

"You planned it all, didn't you?"

"Wallah I didn't."

"Alright if you say so."

And right there I looked at how her face was radiating beauty and mashaa Allah she's so beautiful.

"You know you are beautiful?"

"But i'm handicapped, and mashaa Allah not as beautiful as you."

I had to squint my eyes at that, these were the kinda things that makes me furious at her. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it so bad when ever she uses that term to degrade herself! I don't see her as what she sees herself, but let's just say she is, let's just say I see her as what she thinks she sees herself as, what would it change? Doesn't handycapped people deserve love? This is an equal world, everyone deserves an equal chance of being loved! We are all not perfect, and wallah I don't see her as any less than i've seen her for the first time. When I saw her for the first time, I had it in mind to marry her, the first impression I had of her was, 'she would make an awesome wife! I wanna marry her' I had that thought without knowing who she was or anything about her. And I don't see her any different from then, even after she later on had moments in her life leading to her sickness. Plus her heart is just a bonus. She is kind and has a beautiful heart. I really like how kind she is. Not everyone has a beautiful heart these days. But she has one!

"Dan Allah Ilhan stop it. I like you this way and i'll always love you for Allah's sake. Because you are an amazing person."

I had no idea the amount of effects my words had on her, but she started crying.

Why was she crying though?

I just kept whispering on soothing words till she kept quite. I had no idea what to do beside that.

"Why are you crying?" I finally asked.

"Saif...it might seem selfish *sniffs* ...it might seem selfish of me, but I don't want... to lose you. It will...hurt me so much losing you. I still ain't near to feeling your family accepting me."

Published on Tuesday 17th August, 2021