Bind Me

i'm barely surviving

Alarix's POV.

"You're feeding again?" Athan gasped.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye the best I could. I had a petite brunette straddling me. My fingers were digging into her waist, and my fangs were lodged into her neck.

I hummed in response against her neck. A raspy moan slipped out of her mouth, causing me to cringe. She was attempting to grind herself against me, but she couldn't because of my tight grip holding her in place, and there was fuck all for her to grind against.

"You should fuck her while you're feeding, Rix." He chuckled. "It takes so much better when they're aroused and cumming... The feeling is incredible; you'll never feel anything like it." He quipped.

I rolled my eyes, withdrawing my fangs from her. I gazed at the blood pooling in her collarbone from my lips. She leaned back and batted her eyelashes at me.

"I'm not fucking you." I gagged.

It's always the same. They come here expecting sex in exchange for feeding on them. I guess they don't leave unsatisfied, Athan takes them from me, and they leave happy.

She scowled at me and huffed. "Athan, here, would be happy enough to satisfy you." I rolled my eyes.

"But I wanted you... My friend said you're better than your brother." She whined, attempting to grind herself against me again.

I raised my brow and chuckled harshly. "She wouldn't know." I recoiled, hoisting her off me.

"No, my brother doesn't take it any further... Your friend was tossed off his knee when she started touching herself," He snickered. "She left... Unsatisfied." He drawled.

I rolled my eyes and bent forward. I needed them to go away.

"You, on the other hand, don't have to leave unsatisfied..." He winked.

She stood up, smirking at me sarcastically. She wandered over to Athan, swaying her hips. I rolled my eyes and focused on the floor. I needed to get out of here, quick.

"Up the stairs, first door on the left. Wait for me, sexy." He smirked, slapping her ass as she sashayed by him.

As soon as he heard his door shut, he stared at me. "Father still hasn't heard from Celeste." He groaned.

I didn't look at him. I stayed focused on the floor.

"She's in England. Uncle Jasper spotted her near The Dark Wolf Pack." He chuckled. "Father thinks she's going to your beloved." He scoffed.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "I don't care, honestly. She can do what she wants. Lenora is coming back tomorrow." I uttered through gritted teeth.

"Ah yes, she is." He winked at me before walking upstairs. As soon as he was out of view, I bolted out the back door into our tiny yard.

I heaved until the woman's blood spewed from my mouth. I can't keep feeding then forcing it back up. I'm barely surviving here... I'm so weak. I can't leave to hunt as they will question why I'm hungry.

The only humans that come here for me are brown-haired, brown-eyed young women. It's like they are punishing me for meeting Lila... They know I ache for her, so they think if they dangle someone who resembles her in front of me, I'll forget about my Lila.

I now know when they questioned me about my beloved... They already knew. They knew I had spoken to her; they were testing me to see how I'd react... Shock news, I failed. Athan followed me when I went to see her; he watched from a distance. I was so captivated by Lila; I didn't even realise.

I need to hear from Celeste. I need to know if she managed to get to Lila. I need to know if she's coming... I don't know how much longer I can do this.

I've met Lenora, she's nice and all that, but she's not Lila. I don't find anything about her attractive. Her voice goes right through me; I physically wince when she speaks. When she touches me, it feels like it burns. My skin itches being near her. It feels like there are hundreds of little insects crawling under my skin.

She's got short bleach blonde hair with ice blue eyes. She may be every vampire's wet dream... But mine has long brown hair with piercing brown eyes. That's the only way I can actually feed and not be physically sick... Picturing Lila.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I held my breath as I pulled it out. I stared at the called id and breathed out in relief when Celeste's face popped up.

I quickly went into the alley behind our house, so I was away from prying ears, before answering the call.

"Celeste? Are you ok?" I wheezed.

"Alarix... You don't sound too good. Are you ok?" She fretted.

I took a deep, steadying breath and sighed. "Don't worry about me. Are you safe? Did you find her?" I whispered.

I held my breath as I heard someone faintly in the background... "How is he?" That's all I heard before the sound became muffled. She's either held her phone away or holding it against something, so I can't hear.

"Rix... Tell me how you're doing?" Celeste probed.

"I'm ok." I sighed. "Celeste... Did you find her?" I whined.

I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. She wasn't answering me, and I was beginning to panic. Is she not answering because she hasn't found her? Or did she find her, and Lila refused to listen to her?

I could definitely see her doing that; I chuckled internally. I wouldn't blame her, though. She pretty much put all her cards on the table that night outside the pack, and all I did was push the table over, shattering her feelings because I was afraid for and of her.

"Baby, I'm coming for you."

I sucked in a breath at her voice. My eyes snapped open. Lila was on the phone... I could hear her voice, her breathing coming out in pants. She was nervous and worried; I could tell. I felt a calmness flood through my system.

"I'm sorry I let you walk away. I should have run after you... I should have stayed with you." I blurted. "I need you, Lila. I can't do this alone. I'm barely surviving." I whimpered.

I sounded desperate, and I was. I needed her so much... I wanted her scent embedded into my pores. I needed to see her smile; I don't think I've seen a genuine smile on her face.

"Alarix, I'm coming. I promise I will be there real soon... Hold on for me, don't give up. Wait for me..." She sobbed.

My breath hitched in my throat, and I groaned. Fuck, my name coming from her lips sounded perfect. I couldn't wait to hear her say it in person.

I hated that she was crying and I couldn't comfort her. "Please, don't cry. I'll always wait for you. I'll see you soon, ok?" I murmured.

"Do what you need to do, Alarix." She deadpanned. I took a deep, slow breath and pushed off the wall. "If you need to feed... Feed, don't hold back because you're afraid. I'll be there soon... Stay strong, baby." She expressed before the call cut off.

I feel a new sense of determination. She's breathed life back into me just from hearing her voice. She's coming... My beloved is coming to me. I need to make sure I'm at full strength. I'm going to do something I've never done, but it's the only way I'll reach maximum strength and quick.

I'm going to feed on a vampire, and I know exactly who I'm going to use.