Finding Joy

Chapter 21

"Good Morning." I said entering the shop.

"Good Morning? Bitch We've been calling you all week and all you got
To say is a fucking good morning!"
Erin asked.

"Erin not today okay." I said taking off my sun glasses and putting on my work vest

"What happened Lauren?" Kelsey asked.

"Nothing." I said.

"Something for you to first, ignore our calls, take off sick most of the damn week and the come in here looking all types of crazy. What happened?" Erin asked.

"Can we just talk about it later?" I asked as I heard the door chime indicating someone walked into the shop.

Erin looked at me hard clenching his jaw. "Fine but we gonna have a conversation about this. Lunch on me today." He said.

I nodded my head, not even looking up.

I began to work immediately, I need something to focus on that will hopefully take my focus off of Devin. It's been hard for me, trying to focus on stuff other than Devin. I literally sat a whole day trying to figure out if I was wrong for wanting love. Am I wrong for wanting love? Is love such a rarity in today's world filled with easy ass that I am subject to believe that I have to settle for a man who will never, ever truly love me?

After that day, I came to the conclusion of this, I truly do not know. I waited for his call from Sunday to today, Thursday and I've gotten nothing. The first day, he called and said that we both have some thinking to do and that he wants to at least salvage a friendship between us if I feel so strongly about love. I hung up while he was in the middle of his It's not you, it's me sentence. I'm not in any mood to hear that.

I'm still stuck on the fact that people live without love and marry and have children just to say they have an heir. For me, it's not enough. My circumstances are love permissible and I want love.

"Thank you!" The girl who's name I didn't even bother to ask said giving me thirty dollar tip.

"You're Welcome. Thank you for the business. " I smiled lightly and looked around the shop as she walked away.

"Okay so what's up? You've been off all day. I'm getting worried." Kels said.

I sighed. It's so different telling Kels that Devin and I broke up because that's her cousin. It's very weird to tell your best friend that you are in love with her cousin and he said from his own mouth in front of you that e could never love you.

"Alright baby, what's been up?" Kels asked me as we sat down outside of the little restaurant we visit for breaks.

I sighed. "A lot." I said rubbing my forehead.

"Well bitvh spill it. You're scaring me." Kelsey said.

I sighed. "Devin and I broke up." I said.

"What!" Kelsey yelled.

I rolled my eyes at her dramatics.

"Where that nigga at? I'm gon cut him." Erin said taking off his earrings and grabbing my phone.

"Quit Erin. Leave it alone." I told him shaking my head.

"He broke up with you and you telling me to quit! Nobody plays my little sister out. Sexy or not!" He said typing in my password.

"Hello. Yeah, it's Erin. What the fuck you do to my friend! I'm gon fuck you up when I see you and just because I'm in your voicemail don't mean I won't say it to your face bitch." He said hanging up.

"He didn't break up with me Erin. I broke up with him." I said.

"Oop girl you got me talking all crazy lemme call him back." He said redialing the number. "Hey this Erin again. I'm sorry about that last message. You know you my best boy." he said.

I rolled my eyes. "So why did you break up with my brother?" Kels asked me.

"Yeah girl that man is fine."

"Because he said he'd never be able to love me." I tried to say as if it didn't hurt and it does.

"So what's the problem. If you want him you'd work on the relationship." Kelsey said.

"Kels, stay out of this." Erin warned her.

"No, I'm right. If you like someone you chase after them." She said.

"Kelsey, shut the hell up. You sound stupid." Erin warned.

"It's the truth. It's way early nj the game of love to ask a man if he sees himself in love with you." She said.

"Kelsey he said he would never be able to love me there is a difference Kelsey." I said eating my fried mozzarella.

"You give up too easily." Kelsey said. "Let's be honest in the few relationships you've been in you've given up. No one is perfect Lauren" she told me

"It's a difference Kelsey. I'm not going to beg a man to be with me. I am not gonna try harder then him. He has some shit with him that he has to figure out. I'm not apart of that and I won't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't believe in love. I'm not pushing any man to be with me. I'm not that beat." I said standing up and grabbing my phone from Erin and my purse.

I sighed, walking down the street and back to the salon. I sat down thinking. What the hell am I to do now? Is Kelsey right? Am I giving up to easily?

A/N

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