Reputation: Book One

BOOK 3: TEASER!

Clan·des·tine

klanˈdestən

adjective

Kept secret or done secretively, especially because illicit.

     I'm climbing up the ladder of the treehouse, the lantern light shining from inside seeping through the cracks in the pallet floor. There's music playing, and I recognize it as my slow-love hit CD spinning in the Blackweb boombox. It's playing Redbone by Childish Gambino, one of the songs Ember and I were dancing to the night we got drunk together in the apartment. Inside, when I open the trapdoor, I'm expecting Charlie, Damen, and JJ to be gathered around the wooden crate as they play an intense game of 31. I could see Emmy propped up against the wall underneath the bay window, staring dreamily up at the night sky. When I would enter, her gorgeous blue eyes would lock onto mine and I'd be happy all over again, her gaze creating butterflies that wildly swarm inside my chest.

    I grab to the dresser handle nailed to the bottom and lift the small yet heavy door, my shoulder assisting, but the door is stopped by the crate set on top of it. I lift it as high as I could without knocking it over and peer inside, my breathing loud and heavy as my heart begins to thud. Why was I panicking? Two shadows are stood directly in front of me, the only visible part is up to their knees, and I have to lower four pegs on the ladder to see who they belonged to. I immediately regretted it.

    JJ has Ember pinned to the wall with the shutter window on it, his hands in her long, brown hair, her muscular arms draped around his neck. Their lips aggressively attack each other's like they were angry with each other, Ember's knee massaging against JJ's crotch. I feel my stomach drop to my ass, pain spidering through my chest and down into my guts. That was supposed to be me.

     I wanted that. I needed that.

    And I told her that. She knew that.

    I want to look away, I'm trying to tear my eyes away from them, but I just can't. I'm frozen, shocked, speechless. JJ sprinkles Ember's collarbone and neck in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses, and in the breaks between the lyrics to the song, I can hear her sighing and moaning in pleasing satisfaction, drawing acidic bile from my stomach.

     No fair, I thought as my chest heaves faster, quicker. No fair, no fair. I wanted Em to make those sounds against my ear, her breath hot and sticky on my lobe, her hands tight around my body. My pulse begins to quicken, heart hammering against my pulsing necklace. I could imagine it now, my body where JJ was, my mind completely blank, the only thought being what I wished to do to her.

     Ember's face twists as JJ's hands dip under her shirt as her back arched slightly off the wall, the figures of his insistent hands rubbing directly over her beautiful breasts I wished to play with myself. I'd been staring at them all day; it's the first time I'd seen her in clothes that complemented her so well.

    Her hand replaces her knee, drawing a low groan from his throat as he pushes his body into hers, and I see her fingertips dig into his skin on his biceps she struggled to hold. I slowly lower the door back down, biting my lip as I swallow frustrated tears. My knees go weak under my weight, forcing me to lean onto the trunk of the tree to shake away the dizziness. My hand sears into the bark of the trunk and I rip it away in horror, staring down at the singed wood in the shape of a perfect handprint. My crystal sinks into my flesh in shame. There it was. My secret was out.

    I'm staring out into the woods in front of me, my body buzzing with the absence of emotion. I needed to leave, to go hide, to stop watching that disgusting mess. Why would she do this to me?

    The envy that was sparking inside me made the situation no easier for me to handle. I knew I shouldn't trust JJ; I never had, never did, even from the beginning. I knew I should have made my move that night inside the abandoned apartment, or when I invited her inside when my mom was away. I regretted all of it: meeting her, falling for her, trusting her, and doing the things I did to be on her arm. I wanted to take it all back, but I know that's not how the past works. I was going to have to face it, face the regret, the guilt, the "I wish I would have..." for the rest of my life. And that is more painful than anything I could possibly ever experience.

Hey guys! Good to see you here again. If you haven't read book two yet (or the teaser the chapter before this, since it has been UPDATED), don't fret! You can find it uploaded under my works for more background. Please keep reading and voting and commenting on my stories; it helps me so, so much! I hope you guys are enjoying my stories, and if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, please don't hesitate to DM me or drop into the comments section to let me know. Thanks again!

-Elissa-