Before you knew

166.

I'm in clays car,
Knees pulled to my chest as I lean against the door.

The sun warm on my skin,
Clay's hand in mine.

Oh how beautiful life has become,
How desirable the tides of our overflown emotions leap at my feet.

'Clay...'
His hand squeezes mine gently.

'It's a boy...'
I can hear the breath that is being held in.

Let me become what I'm not
I will see the earth as it is
The moment I will fall through it's aura

If you could just make me succumb to this
I will follow you anywhere.

'I love you.'
The words flow out like a breath as he keeps his eyes on the road.

I open my mouth to say something back, but my phone cuts me off before I can.
Kim
I smile as I read my sisters name and answer the phone call.

'Hey sis.'
I smile at the familiar voice.
'Hey. How is it going?'

I heard a quiet sigh over the phone,
Meant to be left unheard.

'Amelia...

I wait for her to continue.

Dad is out of prison.'

My breath hangs heavy in my lungs as my heart skips a couple of beats,
My hands moving up to the scar left by the bullet.

A moment of silence passes before I hear my sisters careful voice.
'Amelia? You okay?'

My hand is shakily holding the phone,
Breath still stuck in my lungs as I stare at nothing, vision blurry.

'Aims?'

My hand lowers from the scar to my slightly visible belly, fear and unease bubbling in my stomach. This can't happen now. It's not just me anymore.
The first breath leaves, and a couple of short ones follow.

'Amelia, please say something.'

I swallow painfully.
'Y-Yeah.... I'm here.'

Clays eyes move to me, noticing the shakiness in my voice.
He glances to me again before laying his hand on my leg.

'It's only a warning. Maybe nothing will happen.'
Maybe. Maybe I'll be fine. Just maybe.

'Please be careful.'

I try to speak, but my voice comes out as a squeak, forcing me to recompose myself.
'Okay, alright. Thanks.'

I hang up without to much thought.
Rude, without saying goodbye, but my mind is far more worried about something else.

'Who was that?'
Clays voice pulls at my mind, forcing a bit of my attention his way.
My eyes move to him because of the sound of his voice, and the second my eyes land on him, a hick, and tears make their way to the surface as I lay both of my hands over my belly. Why is there always something?

'Kim... s-she...'
Clay gently rubs my leg as he keeps his eyes on the road.
'What did she say?' He asks gently.

'D-d......'
I bite my lip to hold in the tears.
I can't handle to many emotions while pregnant.

Clay shushes me as he pulls the car to the side of the road.
'Clam down, darling. You're okay.'
He stops the car and undoes his seatbelt to turn to me more.

Warm hand on wet skin as tears make their way over my cheek and under his palm.
'Everything's alright, I'm right here. Breath.'

I take a deep breath as he keeps telling me sweet things and loving words.
When a little more calm he asks we again what was said.

'Dad's out of prison.'

His eyes widen.
Now he's the one who needs to calm.
He lets out a shaky breath as he looks down at my belly, covered by my hands.

'We'll be alright.'
He repeats what he had told me multiple times in the last minute.
Now sounding like he needs to convince himself.

'Clay-'
I grab his arm, tears blurring his face.
He moves to wipe my tears with shaking hands.

'We moved. He doesn't know where to. We're fine.'
I look at him as he looks at me.
He doesn't know where we live.

He doesn't know.