And I'll Love You (Youtubers X Reader)

We match (Philza)

(You've been killed three times, yet lucky or not so luckily Dream brought you back.)

AS PROMISED A NEW CHAPTER BC I FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT =]]

Angst

Trigger warning: description of being killed

My first death? God I was probably 7 or 8, in human turns. Smile bright as the sun herself. We was children, death truly didn't hold any kind of meaning too us. "Come on! Don't be a scardy cat!" Sapnap teased pushing my shoulder as I huffed glaring at his grinning face. "It will be cool! Come on!" Dream egged on his mask shoved up to lay on the top of his head as he grinned at me. "You've been flying before whats the difference?" George pushed his question, his goggles pushed to the tip of his nose as he watched me. I didn't want to tell them that I've only actually gilded before, my Flock telling me my wings were too small for my body. "I mean yeah! But never alone." I yelled before mumbling as I looked back down the large and actually beautiful water fall. "If you mess up there is water at the bottom!" Dream finally convinced me, if only we knew the bottom of the water fall were knife like rocks.

My second life? A man, covered in a forest green and a beautiful smile, his name was Phil. The man was an adventure, yet also a bird hybrid like me. Something I haven't seen after my own flock had been killed off when I was 13. "You know it isn't very safe the places I travel." Phil said to me, both of us sitting side by side watching the moon slowly roll above us. "For you Phil? My lives. I do not care for the dangers you speak of." My words full of so much made the rest of the night turn into a calm silence. We grew oh so close, practically, I don't even know, but I knew I could never live without the man. Though it seemed fate decided that it was not good enought to love and not be loved back.

"Phil? Ohhh Phill~" I called walking around for the man, playing hide and seek as we waited for iron to smelt. "Oh where ever could be that handsome bird that I travel with?" I cooed knowing that he had to be close enough to hear me. Hearing laughter i followed it, not think how it sounded different. Comming to a opened I paused when I saw Phil completely surrounded by his crows. Now I always knew about the crows, they were always funny to watch Phil fight with them or joke with them. But now? It put something cold down my spine the way Phil's face was plank as the crows all seemed to whisper, in English.... "Phil?" My voice shook, like a child when waking up from a nightmare, asking there mother for comfort. Saying the name of the man I loved more than flying in the air was the biggest mistake in my life. All of the crows ROARED to life! A mixture of

'Kill!'

'Murder her!'

'Tear off her wings!'

Was the just few clips of what the crows screamed before Phil was ontop of me. His face cold, yet with a deep anger and sadness mixing in his eyes as he hand came to squeeze my neck. "Phil!" I cried out as he started to squeeze, the crows getting louder, praises and demands dancing between us. It burned, so bad, I couldn't really make out Phil's face any more through the tears. I think it was better I couldn't see him, it would have hurt more that way. This was my most painful death, emotionally and physically. After Phil killed me, and before I responded Phil left me all alone. A simple note saying to never try and find him. The page stained with tear stains, his letters shaky, at moments reading that letter was harder than dying. So with a heavy heart, I hunted out three old friends of mine.

My third death? The one I should have never came back afterwards? It really was funny, hilarious. "Dream." I breathed, I watched my bestfriend rise and fall. Madness and the need to be in control over taking his mind. George left first, then Sapnap, and yet here I stood right infront of Dream as he sat in the middle of a prison. I never left his side, staying out of his game. I would only know what he told me or shown me, hell I bearly really knew who was even on this sever. "Come to point and laugh?" Dream bit at me, his fists holding his pants tighter, his knuckles going white. "No, I could never." I sighed as I came a few steps away from the lava to sit right in front of dream. "Then why are you here." Dream hissed puffing out his chest at me, he always did it when he was upset even when we was kids. "Because I love you." I shrugged before sighing looking down my hands not really wanting to own up to it. "And your apart of my flock, even if you've hurt me a lot, and the others, your my family." I explained looking back at Dream, I hated I could never read his emotions now that he never took off his mask.