Chapter 8

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(Santana's POV)

"I cheated on you..."

Four words, four words...that's all it took to send my world crashing down on me like a tonne of bricks. Four small, microscopic short words, one distasteful, vulgar sentence, that holds so much power and destruction to someone's life. Six years, 72 months, 313 weeks, 2191 days of marriage, of unconditionally loving my person, just defaced with four words.  "I cheated on you.."  I can't breathe, I can't speak, I can't move from my chair. "I cheated on you.." My brain, my body, everything has shut down and is failing me. "I cheated on you.." Brittany is talking to me, but all I can hear is "I cheated on you.."  I sit across from her, not really looking at her, more through her. "I cheated on you..". Vision blurred from the overwhelming threat of my dear ducts imploding. "I cheated on you.." My hands gripping the arms of my desk chair so tightly, my knuckles are turning white, trembling slightly. "I cheated on you.." . My wife lied to me, she broke her vows, she broke her promise. "I cheated on you.." she betrayed me, she allowed herself to be with another person that isn't me. "I cheated on you.." she's humiliated me, "I cheated on you.." , she's broke me, "I cheated on you.." she's degraded our marriage, "I cheated on you.." . If I open my mouth the entire content of my stomach will make a reappearance. "I cheated on you.."  If I move, my body will give out on me, "I cheated on you..". So I stay silent, I stay as still.

"...S-San? Say something please?" Britt's voice trembling like a small child who has been given a firm talking to. My lips remain in a hard line, my glare as cold as a snow. She leans across the desk in attempt to take my still hand in hers, her touch now feels toxic, dirty. I retract my hand swiftly and trace my thumb over where her fingertips just were, trying to ease the acidic sensation they left as I keep my loveless eyes firmly on hers. "I cheated on you.." I see the hurt flash across Brittany's face, but I can assure you the hurt she feels is nowhere near the level of hurt my body is experiencing in this moment. What feels like an eternity passes, I realise I need to say something to her, anything. Yet, after receiving such news I have nothing I wish to say to her, I want her out of my building. "...Get out" I growl lowly through a clenched jaw. "I cheated on you.." she doesn't move, "Brittany...I said get out", my tone a little harsher this time. "No Santana, I want to talk about this" she declares. I start to regain feeling of my body, I slowly lift myself out of the chair and take small, slow steps towards the window behind me. "Where are you going?" Britt calls out. I don't answer, I just stand staring out the window in a daze, watching all the people of the city going about their day. I feel resentment towards these people, they're happy or seem to be. They haven't just had their entire world upheaved. "I cheated on you.."

I can hear the light tread of her shoes coming towards me, I remain as I am. "Santana please?" she cries into my ear, placing her hand on the small of my back. "DON'T TOUCH ME" I shout out, still not looking at her. If I look, I will break."I cheated on you.." ...."Santana...please, can we just talk?". I turn away and sit back in my chair at my desk and continue working on the proposal I was editing before Brittany came in here and wrecked our marriage. "Seriously? You're working?" Brittany scoffs, throwing her hands in the air. I ignore her, I continue to work. Brittany soon follows, she has seated herself where she previously sat. "Fine. I'll wait, then we are talking about this Santana". I don't look up from my work, I remain silent and try to pretend she's not there. "I cheated on you.."

Four hours... four hours we sat in silence as I finished up my proposal. How my brain managed to function escapes me."I cheated on you..I cheated on you...I cheated on you..". That's all that I heard for six hours, over and over, torturously repeating itself in my mind, I grew more and more numb to those four words each time they would repeat. Numb enough to point where I felt I was ready to look up at Brittany, who patiently and quietly sat waiting for me. "If you were as committed to our marriage as you have been to sitting there all afternoon, then maybe you wouldn't have felt the need to open your legs for someone else." I say flatly, my voice monotone, not emotion behind it. I knew that comment stung her, she clenched her eyes shut and pressed her lips into a thin line, clearly hurt, but how could she argue that? I wasn't lying.

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