𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑬 [𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑹𝒀 𝑷𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹/𝑻𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻]

𝑅𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇 𝐷𝐼𝑅𝐸𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

"About four months ago."

Rhea nodded, "Do you still want to mourn?"

"Sometimes...it's easier than other times..." Gwen said quietly, as she thought about how since that day in the cemetery, it had been hard for her to really think about what happened. She had been on the go so much, that she barely had time to think. Even when she was sleeping, the nightmares wouldn't come because of the sleeping draft she would religiously take. She sometimes wondered if it was the only way she would ever be able to sleep.

"We have a legend of grieving warrior," Rhea stated, as she looked away from Gwen and raised her head to the sky. "He was the Commander of a great many wars, with a desire to bring lasting peace. But throughout his life, despite him bringing peace to his herd, he was not able to overcome his grief. The Grieving Warrior had a family, had a mate, and lived on. But so did his grief. Soon, his son inherited that very grief and his children after him as well. Throughout the generations, that grief turned to anger. And that anger, into hatred. This started the thirty-year war with ourselves. We Centaurs have a herd to have others to carry us on. There will always be a new generation to carry us on. And if we do not care for ourselves before the following generation, we will pass on our grief to them. And if we do that, then they will have to carry it for us. And their children for them. And so forth until it becomes anger. Until it becomes to difficult to carry they will spill it over into a new war."

The raven-haired woman held her breath as she imagined the story play out in her mind. She knew first hand how powerful grief could be. How it came in waves. How strong those waves were sometimes that they could sweep a person away without them noticing. How they could overwhelm someone at their lowest, or even at their highest point.

She knew how grief could destroy a person. But also, how some people were strong enough to overcome it. To move past it. She had done it once before. And yet, this time it felt as though it would last forever.

"How were the elders able to heal?" Gwen whispered finally, breaking the silence.

"By confronting their demons, even when it killed them."

Gwen sat there in great confusion. Even when it killed them?

"They died in their grief, and then they were reborn as new beings. Uplifted by their herd, their duty to the community. Sometimes it took years. Sometimes it took their entire life. Sometimes, some were not able to. But at least they tried."

The raven-haired woman nodded, as things became much more clear. But like most of the Centaurs that had died with their grief rather than confront what they had to...She knew it was hard. She knew it was terrifying.

For her, she knew what it meant to overcome it. That was why she was so terrified.

It would mean confronting Hermione's parents, Ron...And suddenly, Harry's face popped into her head as a weighted guilt tugged at her heart.

"It may feel as though this pain will last forever, even a lifetime; but you will overcome this Guinevere."

Gwen could not do anything as she felt herself shaking, feeling the words Rhea relayed to her throughout her body. Nothing felt like it would be okay. The pain she felt did feel as though it would be for evermore. That it would never end. Sometimes she felt like she was drowning, as though nothing would be better.

Sometimes she would find happiness with Harry. Sometimes she would find happiness with Teddy. Sometimes she would find happiness with Alex and the people she met along the way. She would often find it with her work. But there would be moments when she was alone, that she was scared. That she felt herself fading. And it terrified her.

"You and the Potter boy" Rhea said, as though she could see what was going on in Gwen's head. "How is that going for you?"

Gwen met Rhea's eyes, as she knew the Centaur leader did not approve of their rekindled dalliance. Though the rumors perpetuated by Victoria Vetrova were quite exaggerated, they also were kind of true. But only a few people knew what was actually going on between them. Rhea being one of them.

"Harry and I are good" Gwen said quietly, as a tug of guilt on her heart made her pause. "We're friends."

Rhea gave her a look, "You have not told him about the vampire boy?"

"I know..." Gwen said in a shamed voice, lowering her eyes away from the Centaur. "I tried to but--"

"You did not try."

Gwen sighed, she knew there was no bullshitting Rhea. She had no idea why she even tried to lie, Rhea would call her out in a second and bury her alive.

"If you tried, you would have told him" Rhea stated plainly. "You did not try."

"Fine, maybe I didn't. I just..." Gwen said in defeat, as she knew she should not make excuses. Certainly not there. Not with Rhea.

"Why is that?" The Centaur asked, with typical centaur blunt fashion.

"I guess...I'm just scared" Gwen mumbled, not liking to admit it out loud.

Rhea shook her head, "Child, I told you it was a mistake to jump so soon, even if you are still convinced he thinks of you two as just 'friends' as you put it."

"I know..."

Rhea scoffed, "You ran from your home to chase adventure again, only to return in worse shape than you left here. And look where you are! Stuck once more."

"You said healing was linear."

"Yes, but you are not healing. You are stagnant, which is worse than failing. If you were failing, at least you would be trying."

"Ouch."

"It is the truth."

"Are you saying I shouldn't have left England?"

"I am saying you came back worse. You were on the path to healing. You were learning to move on. Then you returned and are sinking back into yourself. I saw it since the first moment you arrived. You hide it well, but you cannot fool me."

Gwen shook her head, "You know what I experienced out in that clearing--"

"And you are brave for admitting that to me and trying to heal from it, but you are also taking steps back. If being here is weighing you down, perhaps you should leave."

"Wouldn't I be running away if I did that?"

"If you cannot confront your demons here, perhaps you need more time away."

Gwen frowned, more time away? When she wanted to leave they were practically begging her to stay. Gwen turned her eyes back to the forest. What Rhea was saying was true. She did want more adventure. She wanted time away. Time to see the world. The only reason she was truly staying was because of Vampire Legislation that needed to be passed. And after it? Well, she had been afraid of thinking about what happened next. Especially now that she and Harry had rekindled whatever it was they were doing.

"You are letting the Potter boy keep you here, this is not what you wanted. You wanted to keep exploring, to see the world for what it is."

"No--I--"

"Every Centaur takes a journey before finding their mate. For the journey will shape the warrior. The journey will heal the warrior."

"I think I've been on a long enough adventure."

"War is a different type of journey" Rhea said, as she looked up once more at the sky. "Yours is not over. He is brave, we all know that. But is he willing to be by your side while you overcome these fears? Will he overcome his own?"

"He's been pushing us to go to Australia, to find Ron. He's been pushing for this" Gwen stated, feeling a need to defend Harry. "He wants us to move forward and we're finally doing it."

"That's a start" Rhea said, as she took a deep breath and looked up into the sky. "You're moving in the right direction. And at this point, that really is all you can do."