They call me a criminal

Chapter 43

"Hey love." I heard Fred whisper. I turned to look at him. "I'm so sorry." I just blankly stared at him. What did he have to be sorry about, why did he think I needed him here right now.

I looked up at the ceiling lost, and upset. "I'll let you get some rest." Fred eventually sighed. He leaned down kissing me. "I love you."

Hours later I heard someone sit down next to my bed again. "You killed dad." I turned my head to see Pansy. Her eyes were filled with tears. I sighed, "they made me." She just shook her head, "am I next? Are you going to come after me as well?" I closed my eyes turning away. I remembered Voldemort's harsh whispers, I remembered the spell come out of my wand. And then I remembered Cedric's body falling against the ground.

When I looked back over Pansy was gone. I squeezed my eyes letting tears fall out again. "I'm sorry Cedric." I hit my bed, "you weren't supposed to die. Not alone. I'm sorry."

Harry pulled my curtain open, "we're going home today.. well I am...I think they're making you stay." I wiped my eyes staring at him, "why did they kill him?" Harry sat down beside me on the bed and I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." I shook my head, "everyone can be as sorry as they want. That won't change anything." Harry sighed, "I wrote to Sirius and Remus. Just so you wouldn't have to." I just shrugged. "I thought he was going to kill you." I closed my eyes remembering my dad in front of me ready to kill me. "I killed someone Harry. Even worse I killed my father. And I didn't die. They were supposed to kill me. How the hell am I supposed to live knowing this?"

Harry wrapped his arms around me. "I don't know Clara." I sobbed into his shoulder again, "everyone is dying." He rubbed my back, "I'm still here." I bit my lip, "they almost killed you Harry. I would've had to watch your death too. How many more people have to die?" He pushed his head back, "I don't know Clara." Harry stared at me, "thank you." I looked at him confused. "You choose me over your father."

I stayed in his arms trying to get the memories out of my head. "I hope I'm not interrupting." Dumbledore smiled. I just stared at him, the same I did for anyone else. "Cedric's memorial is soon. Before you leave Harry." I sat up, "I want to go. To Remus'." Dumbledore nodded, "I think you could be of great help to everyone this summer. I hope things get better." I pulled away from his touch.

Harry went to the common room grabbing clothes for me to wear. He brought me a tight black long sleeve and a pair of black dress pants. I brushed out my jet black hair staring at myself in the mirror. My face looked blank, and my eyes were stained red. "We should go," Harry whispered. I turned to look at him, "what the hell happened to us." He grabbed my hand, "I don't know."

Together we walked to the great hall. Everyone else was already at their seats. I sighed looking down at the ground instead of the students who all turned to look at us. Dumbledore met us handing us each a flower. I walked to the front where there was a picture of Cedric. I gently kissed my flower placing it down on the ground in front of the photo. "I'm sorry." I whispered. Harry placed his, and he grabbed my shoulder leading us away. We sat down at the table by all of our friends, and I just looked straight ahead, doing my best to ignore all our classmates apologizing to Harry and I.

When the ceremony was over I left the great hall instantly. I followed everyone to the train, sitting down beside Harry and Fred. Fred was trying to talk to me, comfort me, but I had no doubt nothing he could say would make me feel any better.

I looked out the window dreading when we would pull into the station.

When we finally came to a stop I saw Remus standing there beside the Weasleys. I pushed my way off the train walking over to them. "Come here dear," Molly said wrapping me into a big hug. She kissed my forehead, "you're going to be alright." I gave her a small nod then looked at Remus. He turned to Molly, "we're going to get a head start."

He apparated us to an unfamiliar place. I could barely care enough to ask. "I'm a murderer. They were all right last year." Sirius walked into the doorway forcing me into his arms. He held on tightly, and I closed my eyes. "You're no such thing." Remus placed his hand on my shoulder, "you're a good kid, who's had a lot of terrible things happen." I shook my head, "this isn't just terrible things, I'm living a nightmare." Sirius sat down with me, still holding me tightly and Remus sat in front. "We're all going to be here." I scoffed, "whether you're here or not won't ever change what happened that night. Won't change what happened to my mum, or Azkaban, Cedric, my father."

Sirius nodded, "I know. You're alright now, you're safe." I held on tightly, feeling that if I maybe never let go I wouldn't have to deal with anything else.